Why I Don't Like The Theremin: A Simple Example...

I have this theory about guys that wear kilts. (Not Scottish Gentry, of course. I mean the kind of guys who’s ‘day’ job is as a bouncer at a goth club.) The reason I find them so fucking annoying is not the fact that they wear kilts. I mean, who gives a rat’s ass what you wear? It’s the fact that they talk about it incescently. As in “dude! I can’t wait until casual Friday! I’m gonna wear my kilt!” Their entire life revolves around the various opportunities one might have for wearing a kilt, and it seems it’s all they care about.

I find theremins to be strikingly similar. There isn’t much in the audio world more annoying than the caterwauling of a poor theremin player. (Well, Diamond Dave is more annoying, but not by much.) It’s not so much that I hate theremins as an instrument. I just hate the fact that people that aren’t very good with that instrument seem to take a special kind of pride in inflicting it on others.

With this entry, I try to see what that feels like, by inflicting the world’s most annoying song, performed on the world’s most annoying instrument, by someone that I’m sure is annoying in real life. It’s like an annoying trifecta. Enjoy.