Chris Randall: Musician, Writer, User Interface Designer, Inventor, Photographer, Complainer. Not necessarily in that order.
March 16, 2008

Maybe I'm old or something...

by Chris Randall

...but how on Earth does someone walk out of Musikmesse with a god damn Minimoog under their arm? I've heard tales from others in the industry that the "public day" of Musikmesse was the day all your shit was stolen, and having spent a lot of time in Frankfurt, I don't find this hard to believe on the surface. My general impression of that city is that it is basically Pittsburgh with an opiate addiction and a nice coat of paint.

What I don't understand is how this sort of thing happens year after year. I mean, why do exhibitors even show up on "public day?" In all honesty, if Audio Damage were exhibiting there (which we would have no reason whatsoever to do in the first place, of course) I would just fold up shop on the last private day and go home, because I'd like to return with all my laptops, thanks very much.

In any event, never mind that. What I find amusing is the fundamental stupidity of this person, who is obviously not a musician of any sort. I mean, anyone who knows synths (and would thus be interested in buying this) knows that there are only a couple Minimoog OS units in existence right now. I guess this gives proof to the theory that the vast majority of criminals are simply not very bright. If they were bright, they wouldn't have to be criminals.

March 13, 2008

Happy Friday...

by Chris Randall

There are many, many things on YouTube that get boring after a while, but this ain't one of them. This, my friends, is the Shitty YouTube Video Event Horizon. It just doesn't get worse. All I know is that Star Wars Kid would knee-cap this bitch.

March 13, 2008

He-Man Fugly Guitar Club Charter Member...

by Chris Randall

Found this in my travels about PDX today, and I just couldn't pass it up. This has got to be the ugliest guitar I've ever owned, bar none. Between the organ switches and the chromed steel pickguards, it's definitely in the running for Least Consistent Tone Ever In A Stringed Instrument. I especially like how it can pick up the local Christian radio station if I aim it just right. Shit, this fucker can probably pick up the ISS if I point it at the sky at the right time.

Fucking awesome.

It has been logo-deleted, but being the Super Sleuth that I am, it's obvious that it is a '64 Tiesco VN-2. Aside from the fact that it could be part of JPL's radio telescope array, it actually sounds great, and plays like a fucking champ. Easy enough to shield the cavity, of course, and ground the strings (and the pickguard, natch). Now I have to go set my eBay preferences to troll for a bridge cover and a wang bar.

March 13, 2008

Open Thread...

by Chris Randall

I have to drive my wife to the airport in Portland today, and while I'm in PDX I'm gonna visit some music stores and what-not, so this'll be an open thread. The subject: what's your whacky desire for a plug-in? Anything goes. The weirder the better, IMO. What's not out there that you desperately need? What do you think could be done better? What's too fucking expensive? Bring it all.

March 11, 2008

I'm Willing To Admit (sorta) That I Was Wrong (sorta)...

by Chris Randall

Yes, it's true that I've said nasty things about NI's Kore product line in the past, but having labored through the tutorial videos (the which are hosted by the single most uninspiring person in the music industry) and played with the free Kore Player that came available this week, I now kind of understand what Kore 2 is all about, and I even might maybe kind of want one a little bit.

It is, I think, fair to say that this bad boy isn't for everyone. It wasn't for me not five hours ago. (Note the extravagant use of the double negative there. English is such a versatile language. You can say just about anything.) But I've seen the light, I think. Maybe. As far as I can tell, this would be useful if you (a) owned a lot of NI products (which I do), and (b) didn't much like programming them (which I don't.) It is true that I'm an unrepentant preset tweaker, and I'll not apologize for it. I'm not sure about making the jump, though. Any NI Kore 2 users want to talk me off the ledge before I throw good money after bad?


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