Chris Randall: Musician, Writer, User Interface Designer, Inventor, Photographer, Complainer. Not necessarily in that order.
March 18, 2008


by Chris Randall

Adam's "inner geek" aside, sometimes computers make me want to go out and kill things. Is there a way to insert a DVD in to a Macintosh and select, say, Chapter 1, and select, say, "Save as FLV", press "Go," and come back in a couple minutes to an FLV file that will actually play? So far as I can tell, the answer is "no," but seeing how the Macintosh is the hub of my digital lifestyle, I know that not to be true.

And the first person that points me to either Wondershare or Aimersoft (which are, in fact, the same exact program with different skins, and I use the word "program" to describe a collection of code, rather than the more prosaic ideal, which means "something that, like, works and shit," and the word "skin" to describe a UI-shaped cock being crammed in my eye-holes) will be Rickrolled.

March 18, 2008

DS-10 == rainbows and kittens

by Chris Randall

Good news for the rest of the first world. Via Mr. Kirn of CDM, we learn that the Korg DS-10 for Gameboy will be available in the whole world, not just Japan. I had originally thought that a Japan-only release, while keeping the Cool Factor suitably high, would in fact be the utmost in silly, looking at it strictly as a business decision.

If you've been living under a rock for the last five days, the DS-10 is a Nintendo DS cart that contains what appears to be a well-done facsimile of an MS-10, along with a sequencer, a lil' drum machine, and some Kaoss-like features. This is, in short, the absolute epitome of using company resources just for the hell of it to do something fly. I personally can appreciate that, and it's the main reason I don't lump Korg in with the other large manufacturers; they are wont to do this sort of thing from time to time, and it makes all the difference. Yamaha occasionally steps up to the plate (most recently with the Tenori-On of course) but Roland hasn't done anything worth crowing about since they pooped out the D-50 and ruined music making forever.

Frankly, I didn't see anything else released at Messe worth getting wet over besides this. (I wasn't there, so I didn't physically see anything.) But I have to say that while this is essentially useless in the grand scheme of things, it is the sort of toy that can really give you a nice little piece of inspiration, and it'd be a hoot on a long plane ride, too. I'll be getting one, and I imagine you will too.

March 16, 2008

Maybe I'm old or something...

by Chris Randall

...but how on Earth does someone walk out of Musikmesse with a god damn Minimoog under their arm? I've heard tales from others in the industry that the "public day" of Musikmesse was the day all your shit was stolen, and having spent a lot of time in Frankfurt, I don't find this hard to believe on the surface. My general impression of that city is that it is basically Pittsburgh with an opiate addiction and a nice coat of paint.

What I don't understand is how this sort of thing happens year after year. I mean, why do exhibitors even show up on "public day?" In all honesty, if Audio Damage were exhibiting there (which we would have no reason whatsoever to do in the first place, of course) I would just fold up shop on the last private day and go home, because I'd like to return with all my laptops, thanks very much.

In any event, never mind that. What I find amusing is the fundamental stupidity of this person, who is obviously not a musician of any sort. I mean, anyone who knows synths (and would thus be interested in buying this) knows that there are only a couple Minimoog OS units in existence right now. I guess this gives proof to the theory that the vast majority of criminals are simply not very bright. If they were bright, they wouldn't have to be criminals.

March 13, 2008

Happy Friday...

by Chris Randall

There are many, many things on YouTube that get boring after a while, but this ain't one of them. This, my friends, is the Shitty YouTube Video Event Horizon. It just doesn't get worse. All I know is that Star Wars Kid would knee-cap this bitch.

March 13, 2008

He-Man Fugly Guitar Club Charter Member...

by Chris Randall

Found this in my travels about PDX today, and I just couldn't pass it up. This has got to be the ugliest guitar I've ever owned, bar none. Between the organ switches and the chromed steel pickguards, it's definitely in the running for Least Consistent Tone Ever In A Stringed Instrument. I especially like how it can pick up the local Christian radio station if I aim it just right. Shit, this fucker can probably pick up the ISS if I point it at the sky at the right time.

Fucking awesome.

It has been logo-deleted, but being the Super Sleuth that I am, it's obvious that it is a '64 Tiesco VN-2. Aside from the fact that it could be part of JPL's radio telescope array, it actually sounds great, and plays like a fucking champ. Easy enough to shield the cavity, of course, and ground the strings (and the pickguard, natch). Now I have to go set my eBay preferences to troll for a bridge cover and a wang bar.


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