blog | analogindustries.com

Mar.31
2009

Tuesday Cheese-grater Entry...

I'm reminded of the several references in the book Snow Crash to "chiseled spam." I was skateboarding to the deli to grab a soda yesterday and decided to experiment with Newtonian physics on the way to see if the rules had changed since the last time I'd checked. Turns out they're still the same. Score: pavement 1, Crandall 0. I left what turns out to be a fairly important part of my right hand smeared all over Morrison Ave., along with some pieces of my left knee which, while not strictly necessary to, like, walking and stuff, were parts that I was somewhat attached to.

Long story short, I've entered a world of pain, if I might mix my media references. We'll leave aside for the now the question of whether someone should be skating when they're 40. On the bright side, I didn't break my hip. And, on the other bright side, at least it was my right hand, which isn't very useful to me anyhow. Always lookin' for the silver lining. That's me.

In any case, unless someone shows up to my door with a bottle of Vicodin, I won't be getting much done today. However, we will be shipping all the remaining Delia t-shirt orders today, largely thanks to the fact that my wife is far cooler than I deserve, and took it upon herself to pack them all after I'd gone and banged myself up.

Hopefully I'll be back in fine fettle come tomorrow, just in time to get bombarded with tedious fake press releases. This is the one site on the internet where you can rest assured that there will be no mention of any imaginary gear. If I'm gonna play an April Fool's Day prank, it'll actually be funny. You can trust me on that.

Comments:

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that sucks. at least you didn't land on your head. a friend had a massive bike wreck a couple years ago and luckily had a helmet on or he'd have turned into something with the personality of chiseled spam. maybe you should get a helmet. something about safety gear makes me feel old even if all the kids are doing it.

so, you're left handed? now i understand.

posted March 31, 2009 by boobs

Someone wrote to me "we finally have a black president!" To which I replied "fuck that. We finally have a left-handed Hawaiian in his 40s as president." My particular demographic is well represented in the Oval Office.

-CR

posted March 31, 2009 by Chris Randall

Are you left-handed, or do you just like it to feel like someone else?

posted March 31, 2009 by synthetic

tsk tsk. at your age you should know better than try to hitch a ride on a Deliverator.

posted March 31, 2009 by StirHouse

was it a short deck or something more akin to a longboard? If you're just commuting and not trying to pull off an ollie 360 I highly recomment something with big soft wheels

posted March 31, 2009 by th0mas

That sucks! If you don't have a doctor yet, check out Doctor Robert Crouse @ <a href="link [theportlandclinic.com]">The Portland Clinic</a>. He's pretty rad. It's at 13th & Yamhill... You could skateboard there... ;-)

posted March 31, 2009 by timblade

This board is 4' long, and has wheels so big that each one comprises the volume of four normal skateboard wheels. Despite all evidence to the contrary, I'm neither stupid nor any kind of risk junkie.

What happened is just dumb bad luck, really. I was going down to kick, and my foot landed right in front of the right front wheel. The skateboard stopped, and I didn't. Whatcha gonna do? I happened to be moving at a pretty healthy clip, so I slid on my stomach for a while. To give you an idea, I tore the front of a Carhartt jacket. Those things are tough.

-CR

posted March 31, 2009 by Chris Randall

Yeah, I feel ya... I was roller blading on the water front (3rd time ever) and decided to go down that floating sidewalk thing on the OMSI side... I ate shit (in front of a bunch of people). After seeing my (gnarly) injury, Crouse prescribed me the aforementioned medication to ease my pain (not that he'd do the same for anyone else). The warm hug that Vicodin provided helped me be a little bit more productive than I otherwise may have been.

posted March 31, 2009 by timblade

So you gonna buy a set of RadiKS Mark IV Smartwheels? It's cheaper than a total face retread and a lot more fun.

Now I wanna reread that book. Pity a former roommate killed my copy in an apartment flood... I guess there's the library.

posted March 31, 2009 by Crashproof

Thank you for not including pictures!

posted March 31, 2009 by theshamblers

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