December 31, 2007

Things I Want For The New Year...

by Chris Randall
 

#1: A Mac web browser that doesn't fucking suck - This doesn't seem to be terribly complicated. But apparently it is. And the first person that says "hey, use Opera" can consider themselves banned from ever making pithy comments on this site ever again. In the Suck Wars, Firefox sucked more than Safari for the last two months, but if my Force Quit habits are any measure, Safari is again getting the edge in that department, reclaiming its rightful crown as the suckiest of all web browsers.

EDIT: Since it obviously wasn't, errr, obvious, the above is irony. Please don't email me or post saying "hey, why don't you try Browser Assophonic 2000?" Despite all evidence to the contrary, I do not, in actual fact, give a fuck, flying or otherwise.


#2: Solid-state hard drives - We're so very close. It's like when you know the next Star Wars movie is coming out, but you just can't wait. That is, unless you're all growed up between when the good ones came out and the shit ones. Then you come to the startling realization that George Lucas makes movies for children, and you ain't one. That doesn't apply to solid-state hard drives, of course. But they're so close. Audio Professionals the world over will sing with great hosannas and stuff when the solid-state SATA drive becomes something that people without trust funds can afford.


#3: No more motherfucking Wii controller MIDI bullshit - Seriously. Stop. It's not cool. Use your time for something productive, like working on the OSX side of the Mozilla project.


#4: PACE out of business - If only wishing made it so. But they're like genital warts: the gift that keeps on giving, and the only way to get rid of 'em is to shoot a laser at your dick. Or something.


#5: No more Super Mario Bros. themes on YouTube - That shark done been jumped. Move along. Nothing to see here. ESPECIALLY if you play a bass with more than 4 strings. You need therapy. My idea of hell: accidentally coming across a video of Diamond Dave playing the Super Mario Bros. theme on a Roland JD800 with a Wii controller. Life will have ceased to have any hope whatsoever at that point.


EDIT: (I just thought of another one)

#6: AudioUnits to go away. Far away. And don't ever come back -
Okay, Apple, you had your fun. But they are, in fact, pointless. We know it. You know it. Get over that shit and put VST capability in Logic so we can spend our time developing instead of supporting four (yes, that's four) different builds for each OSX release. Of course, I'm aware that this is just pissing in the wind, but I had to get it out there.

 
 
 

19 comments:

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Jan.01.2008 @ 12:01 AM
afewster
Happy new year - thanks for the varied, interesting and humorous posts over the last year!

Busy enjoying my new Machinedrum Mk2, and eagerly awaiting delivery of the Blofeld....

Cheers
Antony

 
 

 
Jan.01.2008 @ 2:48 AM
quantize
With ya on the Audio Units, pointless platform 'we must own everything' bullshit...

Not sure if I get the Firefox stuff (its a joke?), we use it on every Mac here (6 in total..and the 2 win xp boxes and I'm yet to encounter a single problem ever)

Safari might be quick but its useless for anything other than verifying
html etc

 
 

 
Jan.01.2008 @ 4:33 AM
vae
Happy new year, co-signed on the AudioUnits part. And yes, I'd like to see more crappy renditions of the Legend of Zelda and Bubble Bobble themes on YouTube so those Mario guys better move on ;)

As for the browser suck wars, I had to do the periodical google right now and FINALLY found a proper autocomplete from bookmarks -plugin to Firefox. That's probably the only real reason I've been hanging with Safari at home. Aside the fact that FFox is even worse a memory hog than Safari.

It's weird though, both have been pretty stable for me for the last year or so and I've actually been pretty happy with Safari + SafariStand lately. At least until I had to upgrade to version 3...

 
 

 
Jan.01.2008 @ 5:26 AM
darklordjames
God I hope this is the year of the solid state drive. I do nothing critical with my machines, but anything that makes my desktop quieter and my laptop more power efficient I am all over.
 
 

 
Jan.01.2008 @ 7:52 AM
javahut
Okay... I know CR doesn't like computer bashing. And I've never had anything against Apple. Used to have a... what was it called?... Power PC Pro or something?... back before Apple reneged on their licensing. I ran a Pro Tools III system on it back before I knew how expensive keeping a Pro Tools system updated was, what with how quickly Digi likes to legacy their systems. It crashed as much or more than any other computer I've owned.

But it's bugged me a while now. And CR mentioning how many versions of plugs they have to make just for the Mac platform has exacerbated my annoyance. I'm talking about those stupid "I'm a Mac/ I'm a PC" commercials... and how idiotic, deceitful and downright full of lies Apple is on 'em. It's as bad or worse than politics... Apple producing ads publicly accusing Microsoft of how "bad" their OS is, how many "problems" Vista has... while Mac apparently has "none" of 'em. When in fact their OS has had as many if not more problems with interoperatability with 3rd party vendors and peripherals with their multitude of OS changes. It's just piss poor of them to out and out lie that they're exempt from those problems because they're "a Mac !". Their corporate decision to try and pull that crap as advertising has completely turned me against Apple. I'll never consider buying or using any of their products in no small part because of that series of bald-face lying ads.

OK rant over. So... things I want for the New Year? There's alot... like a Pendulum Audio MDP-1 and/or OCL-2, or a Hamer Monaco III (love that hollow body, P90s and Bigsby). But none of the things I want will ever be an Apple or Mac. ;-D

hApPy nEw yEaR!!!

 
 

 
Jan.01.2008 @ 8:34 AM
quantize
I don't know, that sounds just like an admission they suck as much as Microsoft (no argument from me there!)...so willfully not buying either on the basis of annoying crappy advertising that annoys you (MS have plenty of that too) seems a bit pointless.

Right now, they're mostly in the same boat with Leopard and Vista.

 
 

 
Jan.01.2008 @ 10:34 AM
Chris Randall
For what it's worth, javahut, Apple's market share of PC sales has gone down since that ad campaign started, so a lot of people must be with you on that.

We won't have any platform wars on this site, though. I have to use both platforms all day long, and I think everyone else should too.

-CR

 
 

 
Jan.01.2008 @ 12:38 PM
Adam Schabtach
I was gonna say what CR said in #6 but I thought maybe people were tired of me railing against AUs. Sadly, though, Steinberg is going to foist VST3 upon us in '08, so not only are we unlikely to see the demise of AU, but we may also have to deal with YA plug-in format. That is, of course, unless the buying public shows a complete lack of interest in it (hint hint).

I feel very much how javahut feels about Apple's ad campaign, and I've been using Apple products since the days of the Apple ][+. [Note to younger readers: that means back in the days in which computers were powered by steam.] It doesn't help any that my neighbor has told me (three times, I think) that the Mac guy reminds her of me. I point out the irony in that since I Switched to Windows in the early days of OS X.

Really, though, I don't care which OS people use. People should use the OS that suits them. AD's life would be far simpler if we wrote for only one OS, but as long as y'all keep voting with your dollars, we'll keep writing for both Windows and Mac.

It is an interesting observation, though, that within AD's relatively brief history, we have had to do a major overhaul of our development methods three times because of Apple: once when Xcode forced CodeWarrior off the map, once because of AU, once because of UB. We've never had to make similar changes for Windows; we pretty much build Windows plug-ins the same way today that we did at the very beginning. We didn't even have to change anything for Vista; all we did was buy a couple of copies of it so that we (we meaning Chris) could verify that our stuff worked, and it did, and that was that.

However, all that's an aside to the point I originally set out to make, which is this: Audio Damage had a wildly successful 2007, thanks to you, our customers. I can't say how happy it makes me that y'all have made it possible for Chris and I to start another year in the plug-in making business. May you all enjoy a happy, healthy, prosperous, and music-filled 2008!

--Adam

 
 

 
Jan.01.2008 @ 1:03 PM
vae
FWIW, I only run OSX at home at the moment - no need for more OSs right now and I have a Linux + Win computer at work anyway - and I'm happy that I haven't had to see single one of those ads so far. The whole public image of Apple (plus the Lifestyle fanboys) kind of disgusts or at very least amuses me and I'm not too happy with many of their business decisions. Too bad I rather like some of their products and feel comfortable with them right now.

OTOH, if I wanted to stay away from products that have sucky marketing or come from a company / community I don't really like for one reason or other, I would probably have to burn in hell with BeOS, beg on my knees for Chris and Adam to port their plugins, ask Metric Halo to make drivers, and hope there's a VST host available that isn't made by Steinberg. Or whatever.

Adam's post reminds me of why I've more than once thought about going back to Windows for music though. Aside the fact that there's a lot smaller selection of plugins for OSX than Windows, even many of the ones that WERE available for OSX have been left behind by Apple moving to AudioUnits, x86 and what have you. So while the amount of choice (especially with free & reasonably priced plugins) was not exactly staggering on PPC macs, it's even less so now. On Windows, there's a really active freeware dev scene, some real gems, and even the few year old plugins may actually work on current computers and hosts.

Still, I can get things done I want to, I just end up paying more for the tools and worrying more about things breaking when doing hardware / OS updates.

 
 

 
Jan.01.2008 @ 2:44 PM
SR
LinnDrumII Analog. That's my new years resolution!
 
 

 
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