August 30, 2007

How To Not Win Friends, Part 1

by Chris Randall
 

Something that comes down the pipe at AD HQ quite frequently are letters from woefully misguided companies (usually magazines) that want to "partner" with us. Usually that partnership involves them spending our money. But today, I got one that takes the cake. I copied and pasted this directly from the e-mail; all emphasis, spelling errors, and grammatical tragedies are the author's:



This is Erin Lee the Marketing/Advertising Director at HM Magazine. HM is the leading Christian Hard Music Magazine and we are doing our annual Gear Special Feature. THIS IS DEFINITALY YOUR DEMOGRAPHIC and I was wondering if you would be interested in advertising with us.



Oh, dear sweet baby Jeebus. Where do I start? If it's the "leading Christian Hard Music Magazine," does that mean there are more than one? I could really go to town on this, but I'll leave it to you. Needless to say, making fun of Christians isn't really very exciting; they're so miffy that it really takes the fun out of it. I'm sure this post will engender several emails, the content of which will be "I'm Christian, and I find your latest post offensive, and could you please stop?"


I'm so fucking sick of Christians. I swear to christ. They make Diamond Dave look like good company. (And to our European readers, yes, all Americans are insane. I'll back up any statement you'd like to make in that regard.)

 
 
 

38 comments:

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Aug.30.2007 @ 3:47 PM
klemen
Christian Hard Music Mag?

Faith + 1 (he he he he).


k

(don't think European Christians are any better)

 
 

 
Aug.30.2007 @ 4:14 PM
r0ck1r0ck2
when you get those offended emails, please oh please, post them here ok?
 
 

 
Aug.30.2007 @ 4:26 PM
stumble
these commandments go up to eleven!
 
 

 
Aug.30.2007 @ 4:34 PM
michael

all of my usual fatigue at your daily bile has been erased.

bless you for this posting.

 
 

 
Aug.30.2007 @ 4:45 PM
Babaluma
christ stains are so hard to get rid of
 
 

 
Aug.30.2007 @ 4:52 PM
inteliko
Maybe for some Diamond Dave style humor you should play along with it and write back to them. Better yet from what you've told us about your wife, have her write back.

Isnt Rob Papen a practicing Christian? They need to contact him. LOL, I think it might be ungodly for them to do business with you anyway. Christians arent bad, its the christian freaks who are too busy trying to convert everyone that are a pain in the can, or the ppl who are in the Christian industry marketing, ie:the GC/Sweetwater of Christianity.

 
 

 
Aug.30.2007 @ 4:56 PM
Heretic_D?
inteliko: I think those Christians you speak of are the same ones who are going to be emailing Chris extensively today.
 
 

 
Aug.30.2007 @ 5:34 PM
D' MacKinnon
You guys should make a reverb targeted specifically for them :) Except all the presets will have to be church emulations.
 
 

 
Aug.30.2007 @ 5:38 PM
quantize
A fuckin' MEN

that's all i can say...time we evolved past all this religious BS

 
 

 
Aug.30.2007 @ 5:40 PM
Jeff C
Chris -

I'm not sure why you are complaining. I mean, they're DEFINITELY your demographic.

- Jeff

 
 

 
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