July 27, 2007

Law and fuckin' Order...

by Chris Randall
 

I was doing my morning perusal of Gearslutz (I don't drink coffee, so I have to get my vitriol elsewhere) and came across a link to these guys. Personally, I've never had a problem with gear being stolen. Mainly because I'm not a fucking retard that gets drunk at every show.


(Positive correlation: getting drunk at your shows leads to lost equipment.)


In any event, I take serious issue with this marketspeak on their site: "You are 5 times less likely to become a burglary victim if you use SmartWater to mark your property." What's the mathematical formula that produced that little gem? But that said, if you have high end stuff you normally travel with, and we know that the market for such items is on the small side, it might not be a bad idea to mark it with something like this. I guess it's an invisible ink that has "DNA" of some sort.


I'll admit that I get a fit of the giggles when I picture myself trying to explain to the Barney Fife cops that work in this town that I have fluorescent DNA painted on my gear, but... yeah...
Thoughts? Common sense is the most obvious deterrent against theft, but sometimes shit happens you just can't control.

 
 
 

16 comments:

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Jul.27.2007 @ 1:30 PM
synthetic
Expect the worst and get insurance. I use Clarion. That stuff would only work if you saw your guitar hanging in the pawn shop on the corner, and writing your name in the pickup route would probably be just as effective.
 
 

 
Jul.27.2007 @ 1:52 PM
Adam Schabtach
Their marketspeak really is eyebrow-raising: "SmartWater is a revolutionary product that has helped cut crime by up to 84%!"

--Adam

 
 

 
Jul.27.2007 @ 1:53 PM
Chris Randall
Membership has its privileges:

link [www.ascap.com]">link [www.ascap.com]

-CR

 
 

 
Jul.27.2007 @ 4:21 PM
tremorcore
give me a multivitamin, a tall boy of Sparks and a side order of asparagus ... i'll SmartWater your entire house for free. pets, too!

oh look, their logo is yellow. nice job, marketing dept.

 
 

 
Jul.27.2007 @ 4:44 PM
Jaysen
Why use some fancy marking system when you can just cut yourself and smear the blood all over your equipment? Like this Tracer formula, blood is difficult to completely remove and fluoresces under light when treated with luminol. An added bonus is that because it's your blood, your DNA is embedded all over your gear making it a snap for the po-po to ID your stuff. Wonder if i can patent the idea and sell it to people on my own website?

Watching Forensics Files on CourtTV finally pays off.

 
 

 
Jul.27.2007 @ 4:50 PM
Chris Randall
Before you get all emo on your gear, consider that your DNA will then be on file with the police, which might impinge on your future life of crime.

-CR

 
 

 
Jul.27.2007 @ 5:15 PM
valis
If being drunk leads to losing gear then the answer is to smoke crack (or at least some Ice) right?! You'll soon have more gear than you know what to do with. Oh, and your DNA on file with the cops without even having to go emo on yourself (although you might do that anyway to get rid of the spiders).
 
 

 
Jul.27.2007 @ 6:51 PM
Heretic_D?
If your DNA isn't all over your gear already, you aren't playing right.
 
 

 
Jul.27.2007 @ 9:21 PM
Solipsist Nation
I stopped cable theft by only using the ugliest cables I could find. Black patch cables would vanish almost instantly, but this neon orange and plaid cable I picked up ALWAYS came home with me.

As far as DNA-tagging your gear, uh, that's actually pretty stupid. If you really don't want it stolen, deface it like crazy. Paint your name all over it and make it ugly so nobody will take it. Or just only use crap gear. (Although I did know a guy who had an Akai S612 stolen out of his car, so I guess that's not a sure deterrent. And it was only a few years back, so it's not like it was new and hot at the time. If it ever was.)

 
 

 
Jul.27.2007 @ 9:56 PM
Adam Schabtach
Ahem. Some of us are old enough to remember when the Akai S612 was new. But was it hot? Well, the front-panel sliders for setting loop points were kind of cool at the time. But even then the non-standard floppies seemed like a bad idea.

--Adam

 
 

 
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