February 24, 2007

Affordable Solutions For Better Living...

by Chris Randall

Zachary Guitars. Ikea blank table tops. A match made in Heaven. Or something. Details are here, and while I don't trust any hyperbole about a guitar, especially if it's written by the person that made it, and the way the text is written this thing blows Blackie out of the water, it certainly seems like a reasonable DIY solution. One I hadn't thought of, that's for sure.



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Feb.24.2007 @ 8:33 PM
Great for anything from Lingon Berry Blues to Heavy Meatball Metal.

If you ask me, Sweden's useless without the Bikini Team.
That and Abba of course. I spent some time in Z?ric, I should know.


Feb.25.2007 @ 2:05 PM
I love his marketing campaign; "I do not make custom guitars.

I make guitars as I chose and what I like",

" Are you what they call a "gearhead" or what I call a "materialistic hack" who buys new toys constantly only to be unfulfilled and wanting to buy even more "things"? Will a Zachary guitar be just another one of these short lived toys that you will loose interest in? If you think this may happen, don't buy a Zachary guitar. It will not benefit either one of us.

"Are you a competent enough player to take advantage of what a Zachary guitar has to offer? My guitars are for playing and they are built for players. Will you play it religiously every day? If you are not truly serious about owning a Zachary guitar for the long term then lets not even do it and save everyone the hassle. I need a long term commitment from whoever buys one of my guitars. Yes, its like getting married."

This is sort of like starting your own cult and then selling your product to cult members. His arrogance is quite funny at times.

What reaaaallly pisses me off is quotations that follow from a fellow named Eli Friedmann. I'll leave it to AI readers to decide whether or not Eli deserves the label "Fucktard of the year".

Eli says:

"The idea of beginners or people with phisical [sic] disabilities or lawyer/doctor/collector/non-players buying Zachs just bugs me. Most peole [sic] do not deserve a Zach. You have to earn it."

Eli seems to think that if you're disabled you don't deserve one of these guitars. I guess he means that if you're in a wheelchair, then fuck you; you're not worthy of one of these guitars.

Eli then tries to back peddle:

"I should only add that I am no expert on arthritis. SO if there is some special kind of arthritis they lets you have full pain free use of your hands and you can really play the crap out of the guitar...then obviously that should play no part in whether or not they are somebody who should receive a Zachary guitar. All other things being equal they should order one. If you are an incredible bad ass who can have horrible disabling swelling/pain in the hands and STILL can play for real and are devoted to doing this....by all means, order a Zach. I have a feeling this theoretical person does not exist."

Actually, such a person does exist. The Canadian Blues Guitarist Dutch Mason had horrible arthritis in his hands and still played as much as he could toward his later years (I witnessed this many times).

He goes on to say:

"Some may get angry at my comments. Some may want my neck broken like rich lawyers and doctors, guitar collectors, impulsive middle-aged materialists, ebay rats who buy and sell gutiars on a dayly basis, all people who cannot play. If you feel you are being discriminated against, then just be realistic and remember that if you are not a serious player a Zachary guitar is not for you."

Personally I think that if someone with a physical disability learns to play guitar they deserve generous accolades for accomplishing that; ****especially**** if their disability is one that makes it hard for them to do so. If it were me; I'd be proud to have such a person playing one of my guitars.

I like the guitar maker's designs and his craftsmanship but I sincerely question his sanity for including comments like this on his webpage.


link [www.zacharyguitrs.co...]">link [www.zacharyguitrs.co...]


Feb.25.2007 @ 2:32 PM
No doubt the guy comes across like a complete asswipe.
We could aslo spend some time pointing out many faulty (BASIL!) things about his design. Like the lack of side neck markers, the complete lack of access to the higher frets and so forth but I'm thinking this is not the place for it.

Bring on the keytars!...


Feb.25.2007 @ 3:30 PM
Chris Randall
There are many good guitars that have no access to the higher frets or neck markers. I don't think that really says anything, truthfully. I'll tell you what, though: all that aside, if I tried to say shit like this on the Audio Damage page, not only would Adam disown me, but I'd be crucified in every forum imaginable.

How is it that a guitar maker can get away with this, while a software maker can not?

All that nonsense aside, I do like the idea of using the Ikea premade table-tops for guitar bodies. I've been thinking of making my own tele with TV Jones pickups (because I'm a little crazy like that) and none of the Stew-Mac blanks really fit my needs for this; this might be a reasonable solution to that problem without dropping $90 on a piece of hardwood I'll probably fuck up due to my inferior woodworking skills.



Feb.25.2007 @ 3:31 PM
penzoil washington
there's even more bullshit mojo voodoo about guitars than there is about recording gear. awhile ago some asshole was selling the plastic pickup surround piece from a 57 Les Paul for $11,000 on eBay.

this guitar actually looks like the Ikea wannabe-butcher-block table top it's made from. at the same time, given the vintage mojo obsessed market, I can understand why boutique amp and guitar makers have to go to extremes to interest people in their shit, and they're up against all the crap reissues from Gibson and Fender too.


Feb.25.2007 @ 5:18 PM
Damn I just thought it was funny it was made from an IKEA table, you guys get a little serious sometimes, the comedy is the guy thinks it's special but, IT'S A IKEA TABLE, dude is obviously a tool.

Feb.25.2007 @ 8:00 PM
CR... don't know if this helps you, but I recently built a super nice Tele for really cheap. Here's how...

-buy a Mexican Tele off Craigslist for $200 (with a case, barely played... methinks the pretty man I bought it from in West Hollywood thought the silver blue color was cute... so did I).

- unbolt ho-hum Fender neck, resell on Craigslist for $80 two days later. Order super sweet custom thin/narrow neck with big frets just like I like from Warmoth for $160 (they offer gazillions of options... only bad part is they're slow).

- order custom Tele humbucker bridge, drop in humbucker, order custom P-90 cut pickguard from Warmoth, buy new Mighty-Mite P-90 fro $17 shipped of the 'bay (and it even sounds nice!). BTW, Warmoth is usually way cheaper than StewMac, Allparts or WD. Though I'll be sure to call StewMac when I need that geniune yak hyde luthier's smock. Or a fret puller for my mid-16th century lute.

- screw/solder together, change pots (you need different ohmage for humbuckers... StewMac explains on their site).

- take to happy guitar setup guy who knows how to operate truss rod and surface frets, have him set up, and end up with a super badass high end guitar that plays better than any I've ever owned for under $400. Bad part is that I don't like any of my other guitars anymore!

- take remaining money and spend on lingonberry diner at Ikea Burbank (if you can find parking!!!)



Feb.25.2007 @ 8:17 PM
That's absurd. The wood is the cheapest and easiest part of building a guitar. 3 guitars out of a $15 table? Whoopie. I'll sell you $5 worth of glued-up cheapo pine for $10!

The comment on that page about lamination resonance is kind of interesting though.


Feb.26.2007 @ 10:31 AM
Another vote for TV Jones pickups. I have a Frankenstrat with two of them and a Bigsby. Great, great pickups!

Feb.27.2007 @ 4:04 AM
Weird how he's punctured the 'quality tonewoods' hooey and maybe shot himself in the foot as well?

Bragging about how this guitars made from $5 worth of table then selling it for $1500? Obviously time/labour doesn't come cheap but expensive guitars are often sold on the quality of the wood, take that out of the equation and he's sort of turning the whole 'paradigm' :) on it's head.

Eli sounds a dick though.


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