December 31, 2006

Happy New Year...

by Chris Randall

Here's my year-end round-up, in the event my opinions on such things have any creedence:

BEST NEW PRODUCT: Moog Lil' Phatty. If nothing else, this product is the best of 2006 simply because it put the final nail in the "ph == f" coffin. But that said, there's nothing about it not to like. Size, form factor, UI, sound, price, style all phan-phucking-tastic. There's no particular reason I haven't bought one yet. I will at some point.

STUPIDEST NEW PRODUCT: Native Instruments Kore. This is the absolute pinnacle of the phrase "solution in desparate search of a problem." I haven't played with one, because I can't be bothered to figure out what the fuck it does or why it exists.

COOLEST PERSON IN THE MUSIC INDUSTRY: My wife. She puts up with my bullshit, lets me spend ridiculous amounts of money on gear, runs a record label, makes web sites, mostly ignores the nearly constant kick drum thump eminating from my surroundings, regularly uses the name "Cunty McFuckstain" to describe people she doesn't like, and still manages to find time to bake a loaf of bread every three days. How the fuck did I get so lucky?

BIGGEST FUCKING TOOL IN THE MUSIC INDUSTRY: K-Fed. My first instinct would be to call it a tie between Diamond Dave 103 and that fucktard that runs But really, both of those asscocks really pale in comparision to K-Fed. While I rarely bring him up here, he really is the biggest fucking tool in the music industry. There's no question.

So, that's my best and worst of 2006. What's yours?



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Jan.01.2007 @ 3:06 PM
Chris Randall
Actually, I semi-agree with that. _IF_ you ran a computer just for soft-synths in the studio or on stage, I fully understand the usefulness of something like Kore, especially if you have a big pile of plugins and you don't learn what each one does (e.g. you just buy N.I. Komplete or something.)

However, I use a limited number of soft-synths (mainly just Mini V, V-Station, and Lounge Lizard) and tend to make most of my music via samples and effects, and the effects I use tend to be our own (where I have a complete understanding of what they can and can't do, obviously) or external hardware.

So, in my context (which the context of the professional user, for the most part) Kore is just plain dumb.



Jan.01.2007 @ 3:08 PM
I honestly sniped it at the last second and got lucky, there was some guy who was dropping large amounts though, when I checked out his history he dropped $2600 on a Memory Moog not long b4 that auction. I thought he'd jack up the price much higher. BTW, I am taking donations of working apple II parts, or at least until X-mas is gifts are paid off. Serious wifey thinks it might be useful for beating me with it and is yelling about purchasing a clunky apple II. The only gear she liked I ever owned was the Novation Bass-station keys because it was little and cute. When I had a 106 she used to walk past it and curse at So once again congrats on having a great wife who is cool with gear purchases.

Jan.01.2007 @ 3:30 PM
Chris Randall
Well, I have a working Decilionix sampling card, with software, that I could be coaxed to part with. If you have an alphasyntauri keyboard card installed, you can play the sampler with the keyboard.



Jan.01.2007 @ 4:45 PM

CMU resolution for 2008,surely this will be followed by divorce papers! See link...

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Jan.01.2007 @ 7:17 PM
Can you really call K-Fed a member of the music community? I think right there, you're already giving him too much credit.

Jan.01.2007 @ 11:35 PM
Richard Devine's a professional user, and he rocks Kore rather well.

As a performance-based softsynth/fx controller, it's potentially unmatched, if you do what any musician worth his salt does and grok your tools. What one gets out of Kore reflects what one puts into it, like anything else in life.


Jan.02.2007 @ 1:23 AM
Best Tube: Metasonix TM-6
Best live controller: remote zero novation
Best live toy : Kaos Pad 3
Best secondhand: Moog source
Best DAW extra: Apogee Ensemble (+duende and liquid mix unfortunatly :) )
Best DI but not new: Avalon U5
Best 5 minutes of fun: ZVEX FUZZ PROBE

Worst songs: gwen stefani, fergie, anything wyclef jean and that guy from black eyed peas touched.
Worst time to return: Baroque in music and fashion
Worst designs : Roland (again)


Jan.02.2007 @ 4:43 AM
best new toy that I got: jomox m-resonator. that thing is crazy. The samples on their website don't even begin to do it justice.

biggest tool:I had never even heard MCR until you guys just mentioned them, and then, silly, I just had to go check them out. Goddamn they suck. You'd have to work pretty hard at it to get lyrics and singing style that obnoxious, and none of them can play their instruments. I mean, I don't play the guitar. I probably havn't even picked up a guitar more than a couple dozen times in my life, and most of those were to pass it to someone else. It's really not one of my favorite insturments. Even so, I can say with complete confidence that I could play any of those guitar parts better than those tools in all of about 10 minutes, and I'm talking about the parts on the myspace page, which are obviously hours of desperate efforts on the part of some long suffering mixing dude to fix them and line up all the beats. Christ. Someone pleast tell me that those guys aren't as big as that page would seem to indicate.


Jan.02.2007 @ 5:22 AM
trent reznor has kore also, but that man receives every plugin on the NI market... so it does makes sense for him to have it and use it. But for none NI users the kore is a third option i think, after reaktor and battery.

Jan.02.2007 @ 5:54 AM
Kore seems pretty frivolous until you have a vested interest in liking it, such as having paid $500 for it.

It kind of seems like the audio equivalent of the kind of things you see pluged on late night TV (not counting the hot girls. Those things are always a good idea). Like, do you really need to pay $75 for an air pillow that hangs from the ceiling between two cars?


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