November 30, 2006

Memo To Copy Writers Everywhere...

by Chris Randall
 

Okay, just so everyone, but specifically the editors of Keyboard magazine and the various companies that release loop CDs, knows, it's no longer cool to substitute "ph" for "f." It hasn't been for some time now. It really wasn't that cool when it was cool, which was a span of about two weeks in 1996. Surely there's another superlative you can come up with that actually has, like, meaning and stuff?


Example 1. Seriously, guys. Just stop now. If someone held a gun to my head, I'd have a hard time coming up with a statement less burdened by meaning than the following: Phat to Phreaky is the ultimate collection of urban beats, breakdowns and fills, and comes straight from the beatboxes, drum machines and samples that you hear on today?s hottest songs.


Example 2. I'm sorry, Peter, but Phat 101? Come on. I know you work for Keyboard, but does that have to inform the curriculum that I actually read?


Example 3. Okay, guys. I'm a big fan of you and your products, but this is an intervention. It's for your own good.


I could go on and on (and on) with this, but can't we just stop the madness? From now on, every time it gets used and I see it, I'm calling a motherfucker out.

 
 
 

33 comments:

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Dec.01.2006 @ 7:06 PM
giantm
That is why I bought the 8 gig nano. Well, that and the fact I can drop it as much as I want to (which really isn't all that much) and not have to worry about fucking up a hard drive (which has happened once).
 
 

 
Dec.02.2006 @ 9:22 AM
Adam Schabtach
Not meaning to hijack this thread back to its topic, but I agree re the new Moog. Its name might be the single biggest barrier to me buying one, although lack of a place to put it is more significant in practical terms.

--Adam

 
 

 
Jan.25.2007 @ 8:28 PM
alg
In my defense, when I first created pHATmatik back in 2001, 'phat' wasn't so nauseatingly overused (at the time, a CM writer complained that it was hard to type) and the plug-in only wound up being named so because of the list of possible names I had, it was the one that returned no hits on Google. (Angus suggested pHATpHUK, and I'm still crestfallen that I couldn't get the missus ^H^H^H^H^H marketing department to go along.)

But now that I've foisted it and its lame-ass name upon iZotope, I can act all superior and snobby and jump run in with the pHAT-bashing. Tired!

--Art

 
 

 
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