November 30, 2006

Memo To Copy Writers Everywhere...

by Chris Randall
 

Okay, just so everyone, but specifically the editors of Keyboard magazine and the various companies that release loop CDs, knows, it's no longer cool to substitute "ph" for "f." It hasn't been for some time now. It really wasn't that cool when it was cool, which was a span of about two weeks in 1996. Surely there's another superlative you can come up with that actually has, like, meaning and stuff?


Example 1. Seriously, guys. Just stop now. If someone held a gun to my head, I'd have a hard time coming up with a statement less burdened by meaning than the following: Phat to Phreaky is the ultimate collection of urban beats, breakdowns and fills, and comes straight from the beatboxes, drum machines and samples that you hear on today?s hottest songs.


Example 2. I'm sorry, Peter, but Phat 101? Come on. I know you work for Keyboard, but does that have to inform the curriculum that I actually read?


Example 3. Okay, guys. I'm a big fan of you and your products, but this is an intervention. It's for your own good.


I could go on and on (and on) with this, but can't we just stop the madness? From now on, every time it gets used and I see it, I'm calling a motherfucker out.

 
 
 

33 comments:

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Dec.01.2006 @ 12:28 PM
peterkirn
Yes, that's why I've begun the "drive, don't run" trend.
 
 

 
Dec.01.2006 @ 12:35 PM
Chris Randall
Personally, I'm a fan of "fall, don't stumble..." but that's neither here nor there.

Speaking of memes, my wife got me an 80 gig iPod to replace my long-suffering 10g model, and it occurs to me that this iPod has a hard drive big enough to clone all the data on my iMac and still leave room for my entire music collection.

Out of idle curiosity, wtf does someone do with all this room?

-CR

 
 

 
Dec.01.2006 @ 1:04 PM
neilium
goose-step, don't walk...
 
 

 
Dec.01.2006 @ 1:29 PM
noisegeek
Some of us have stupidly large music collections. I could get mine on an 80gig, but not the older 60gig. 'Course, I could convert everything to 128 kHz mp3s, but that would defeat the purpose of owning music I think sounds good.
 
 

 
Dec.01.2006 @ 1:51 PM
Dave McAnally
man I crammed my 20 gig to the gills, and even that has shit on it I'd never listen to in a million years (it somehow ended up on there though).

Time to get hip to watching your favorite shows on a 2 inch screen!!

 
 

 
Dec.01.2006 @ 2:08 PM
Chris Randall
I have thousands of CDs; I only put what I regularly listen to in iTunes. (I tend to buy new music digitally, unless it's something special, like the new Tom Waits or something.) My listening habits tend to be the same record over and over again until I can't stand it any more, as a quick browse through my LastFM profile will attest:

link [www.last.fm]">link [www.last.fm]

But even then, I only have a shade over 10 gigs of music in my iMac.

-CR

 
 

 
Dec.01.2006 @ 2:14 PM
michael
"Out of idle curiosity, wtf does someone do with all this room?"

it can go surprisingly quickly if you keep your music in lossless format or 320k aac or mp3s, and you're too lazy to be selective about what you put on the ipod. plus if you use it to back up tons of stuff between home and an office, etc. i have a 60 that's always near full.

 
 

 
Dec.01.2006 @ 4:27 PM
DaveAA
Remember the ipods can play video now, so you can fill it up with your DVD collection and watch "Last Year At Marienbad" on the bus to work or something.
 
 

 
Dec.01.2006 @ 4:29 PM
Chris Randall
"Dream Theatre Live At Budokon" is all you need to know about that.

(Now, just so everyone is aware, the above sentence is sarcastic as hell.)

I don't think I'll be putting any video in my iPod. WTF for?

-CR

 
 

 
Dec.01.2006 @ 6:30 PM
nousrnm
haha, those ohmforce videos are rad
 
 

 
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