See, it seems the National Association of Music Merchants is technically only open to retailers and the companies that sell to them. Since Audio Damage doesn't sell boxed copies to retail or a distributor (because, quite frankly, for a 1 meg plugin it's just a stupid waste of plastic and paper, sort of like a CD longbox, and it's, like, 2006 and stuff) we don't qualify for NAMM membership.
I spoke at length with the person nominally in charge of such things, and was told we could have a Provisional Membership, where we could join now, get the badges I want, and in six months they would check back in on us to see whether we were selling to retail or not. I assume this is to provide new companies with a way to hock their wares at the show.
Since I am, at heart, an honest person, I pointed out that (a) it was 2006, and there was no need for a company like ours to go to retail at all, and (b) it was unlikely that Bob's Country Banjo Shoppe was going to want or know what to do with our products, so we'd just be stuck with the mass-market retailers like Musician's Friend and Guitar Center, which we didn't have any interest in working with in the first place.
This was something of a surprise to the lady I was speaking with, I think. She just couldn't get her head around the idea that a company would be happy with selling less product if it meant not dealing with the Wal-Mart and Target of the music industry, respectively. Apparently, in this business, principle and making money are mutually exclusive.
In any case, fuck all that shit. I don't have the time or energy to try and get the board members of NAMM to understand that yes, we are Music Merchants, and no, we don't need a retail store to sell our shit. So I guess I have to go begging for a badge. Whee.