October 20, 2006

Keytard Day, Pt. 1...

by Chris Randall

The world's whitest "solo," played on the world's second whitest instrument. I hear polyrhythms are the next big thing.



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Oct.21.2006 @ 10:16 AM
I think i've got a counterexample for you. It's called "haggis."

After seeing the omnichord video, I have to agree with Chris. On the other hand, I think it's too obscure to really qualify, as I had never heard of it before today. Also, it pretty much seems like a crappy casio electronic autoharp, so it's first place status doesn't really detract from the autoharp as a contender.


Oct.21.2006 @ 2:21 PM
As far as the banjo goes... well, y'all, gather around and lemme tell ya... as I am, in fact, from Alabama (Roll Tide! Ok, just kidding), and I have, once upon a time, seen for myself a regressed-genetics randomly-dentally-blessed young man get seriously down and DIRTY on a banjo. It was scary and it moved me. It was as funky in its own way as any out-there blues I've ever heard, and reminded me more of someone like Son House wailing away on a National... it sounds like someone talking in a language you can almost understand... but not quite. You can't quite get it, but it still moves you. We may both have been "white" but he was sure 'nuff comin' at life from a different direction than me.

Somehow I can't really see anyone doing that on the electrical autoharp.

(some of you may wonder why that was my choice... see... er... there was this eight-grade talent show... and see... there was this eurythmics song I liked pretty good, and it was a hit, you know, people would recognize it and maybe groove on it... and, er... my friend had an Omnichord? And... oh God. I can't go on.)


Oct.23.2006 @ 12:18 PM
Rufus Harley is kind of the exception that proves the rule. Jazz bagpipes, talk about taking on an uphill battle. Harley was a brave, brave man.

As far as haggis as evidence of funk: I've had the stuff, and everybody talks about how nasty it is and so on. It's just not true. I grew up on, tongue, blood sausage and all sorts of organ meats, so haggis didn't phase me a bit. I liked it.


Oct.27.2006 @ 2:27 AM
autoharp (electric) : Roky Erickson and the Aliens - isn't black, but isn't white either. Fluorescent green ichor, perhaps?

accordion: zydeco, South African township (not white)

bagpipe: 400BC, but white

omnichord: brian eno & dan lanois (this is pretty white...)

hammer dulcimer: also known as the santur in Persia (not white)

lap steel: mostly hawaiian (not exactly white)
but the PEDAL steel is WHITE, WHITE, WHITE

Technically a clavinet is an electric clavichord, not an electric harpsichord, so the harpsi might qualify, but Stevie Wonder could probably play funky on an acoustic harpsichord. But HAS anyone ever played funky on a harpsichord?

The pipe organ is pretty white. On the other hand, a good pipe organ blows away a TR808 or TR909 for subwoofing by a country mile. Someone ought to be able to get a good hiphop bassline out of one.

Alphorn. Now THERE's a white one.


Oct.28.2006 @ 9:04 PM
>And as a Scotsman I'm furiously indignant about the "nothing funky about Scotland" comment. I just can't come up with a counterexample right now.<

how about the Average White Band?

can't believe no one else said that...


Oct.31.2006 @ 2:39 AM
> Average White Band


Diet funk. They were the one thing I was avoiding saying above anything else. Even the Bay City Rollers were funkier.


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