October 4, 2006

It's not unusual...

by Chris Randall

And people say guitars are phallic. I mean, really now. This is yet another fine example of the "solution in search of a problem" concept. Thrill to the video. Let's go ahead and remove any possibility of expression from the performance, and just whack out monophones at a constant 127 velocity. Let the notes do your talkin', motherfucker!



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Oct.05.2006 @ 2:58 AM
"You obviously didn't watch the whole video. -CR"

Yeah I got bored. "Revolutionising the way music is played". I think they look kinda fun, but that's stretching it !


Oct.05.2006 @ 9:38 AM
Man, Rags has some hot gigs!!

Oct.05.2006 @ 10:30 AM
Perhaps the solution to the static velocity problem is to add a breath controller input to one end. The performer could blow into it himself, or hire an assistant if he can't reach that far.

Oct.05.2006 @ 11:00 AM
Uh, I don't think velocity sensitivity is going to make sucky Blues Traveller covers not suck.

This thing is like the strumstick of MIDI controllers, except that instead of being a way to get over the initial how-to-play technical hurdle, it's rather a different avenue for wankery. Gives "musical masturbation" a whole new meaning.

"Excuse my while I whip this out and express myself!"

I was half expecting this dude to say he invented the keyboard tie...


Oct.05.2006 @ 11:02 AM
Hey, this guy should totally cross-market with one of those erectile-dysfunction medications!

Oct.05.2006 @ 11:22 AM
I made it through to the Tom Jones (which I couldn't do yesterday). That brass part he's playing is some awful expressionless stuff, let me tell you. If not velocity sensitive, at the very least throwing in a mod controller somewhere wouldn't hurt.

Oct.06.2006 @ 6:07 AM
boobs: I present thee with the screamingly obvious yet still funny joke award.

1) I couldnt be sure my ears werent wrong when the guy introduced himself as "Rags". I wasnt wrong...

2) the "thumbletz" made me think Rags had been playing his pole till his fingers bled. Glad to know I was wrong there.

3) if it wasnt hundreds of dollards, I'd get one just to fool around with it and try some pet assisted composition. I cant get my cats to play anything interesting on a traditional keyboard, but coat that Pole in catnip and I might get some good tunes. But not for hundreds of dollars.

Best of luck to Mr. Rags and His Pole.


Oct.06.2006 @ 1:39 PM
i'd like to see someone make a program that would allow me to use a guitar as the midi controller for my vst instruments....

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