August 11, 2006

Diamond Dave, The Gift That Keeps On Giving...

by Chris Randall
 

So, if you read the comments of the last post, you know that Adam Jay got another voicemail, wherein the entire country of Belize has been disgraced, and is a "very serious matter." That's funny enough. But naturally, there's more.


I took my wife to the dentist this morning, and when I got back, I was rewarded with five "internets" from Dave. Here they are, in folio form, since I dig the whole "stream of consciousness" thing:


IM CALLING LAWERS


NOT AFTER Gearslutz

IM AFTER ADAMJAY

he is messing up your web page


look folks just need to lay off me.
I don't know anyone in here.
they don't know me.
yes im mad my lawyer got the info.
I want is peace just keep diamond studio off you web.
I think there playing word games
if Adam keeps up I will be forced to protect my company.
just like you would in yours.
im not breaking any laws just trying to keep my good hard working name..
let just keep a clean word or chat.
I want peace.
message from my lawyers
PLEASE TAKE ALL MESSAGE OFF OF DIAMOND STUDIO LTD. IF NOT WE WILL CONTACT MSN NETWORKS TO WORK SOMETHING OUT.
WEB PAGES CAN DO HARM TO OTHERS IN ANGER OR DAMAGES TO OTHER COMPANIES
WE WANT PEACE WITH THIS COMPANY AND ITS NOT YOU WERE AFTER YOUR COMPANY BUT THOSE WHO TREAT HARM IN DIAMOND STUDIO LTD.WE HAVE RIGHTS JUST LIKE YOU.


http://www.analogindustries.com/

IS GOING TO MSN


ok now I just heard my voice message on yaw page

funny but true

listen to it and see if im joking

adamjay is going to be in big trouble


Dave, since you're obviously reading this, let me help you out a little bit here: if you post something in the de facto public domain (e.g. YouTube) you give implied consent for it to be "shared." In case you're not aware, your idiotic representation of yourself in said public arenas was what engendered this whole thing in the first place.


"To make a long story short" there's an easy solution to all of this: stop being such a fucking idiot. I know that sounds harder than it is, but just put down the webcam. Seriously. You're only hurting yourself. I'm trying to help, here.


Some other quick tips: my "internets" have nothing whatsoever to do with MSN; I'm not sure where you got that idea. And the "Prime Minister Of Belize City?" Last I checked, Belize City had a mayor, so I'm not entirely sure you're barking up the right tree there. I think you might be confusing "prime minister" with "coke dealer." Just a thought.


UPDATE: Shit. I didn't notice the six other messages that were in my spam filter. Apparently, I have two hours. Until what, I'm not sure. If this site is replaced with an MSN domain parking notice at 1:13pm PST, I guess we'll know.


UPDATE 2 Okay, I'm starting to get bored with this. It's fun to poke someone who can't take a joke, but you can make fun of a retard all you want, and at the end of the day, he's still a retard. This just came in:


now you have crossed the line
now your messing with me but I got bigger plain for a bully.
its called well open your door see who calling you.
maybe its ohhhhhh the law.
stop messing with me last chance bully.


Ironically, I'm usually the one sticking up for the little guy, trying to keep 'em from falling prey to parasites like this. So, there you have it. I've gone too far.

 
 
 

26 comments:

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Aug.11.2006 @ 2:10 PM
frugalpole
hence for and until forever, august 11 shall be known as diamond dave day. i'm sure the prime minister of belize city won't mind...
 
 

 
Aug.11.2006 @ 2:13 PM
musicmachinemaker
I'm no native speaking english guy but i'd rather see a world where lawyers/lawers write correctly.
If you don't want something to happen on the internet , ignore it.
This "problem" has made itself bigger by getting involved.

Maybe cartoons are allowed ?

 
 

 
Aug.11.2006 @ 2:45 PM
D' MacKinnon
Does Dave win Fucktard of the Year? award?
 
 

 
Aug.11.2006 @ 2:49 PM
Dave McAnally
He's got my nomination!!

Fucking funny shit though.

Hey Diamond Dave, I think Chris and Adam would get the message better if you and your lawyer posted a vid on You Tube stating your grievances....do it up champ!

 
 

 
Aug.11.2006 @ 2:55 PM
neB
Just to keep things interesting, I wanted to hear Diamond Dave in Jive. So, I ran him thru the jive translator. Enjoy:
---------------

I'm Calling lawyers

NOT AFTER Gearslutz
IM AFTER ADAMJAY
he iz messing up yo' web page

peep folks just need ta lay off me. I don' know anyone in here. dey don' know me. yeea im mad muh ma fuckin lawyer got da info. I wants iz peace just keep diamond studio off ya web. I th'o't dere playing werd games if Adam keeps up I will be forced ta protect muh ma fuckin company. just like ya would in yours. im not breaking any laws just trying ta keep muh ma fuckin pimp-tight hard working name.. let just keep uh clean werd or chat. I wants peace. Message from muh ma fuckin lawyers: Please take all message off o' diamond studio ltd. If not we's will contact msn networks ta werk somethin' out. Web pages can do harm ta others in anger or damages ta other companies we's wants peace wiff dis here company an' it'snot ya We be afta. yo' company, but those who treat harm in Diamond Studio LTD. We gots rights just like ya.

link [www.analoginduses.co...]">link [www.analoginduses.co...]
iz going ta msn

otay now I just heard muh ma fuckin voice message on yaw page
funny but true
listen ta it an' see if im joking
adamjay iz going ta be in big static

now ya gots crossed da line now yo' messing wiff me but I got bigger plain fo' uh bully. its called well open yo' do' see who calling ya. maybe its ohhhhhh da law. stop messing wiff me last chance bully.
be understanding dis negroid-american languag foo'

 
 

 
Aug.11.2006 @ 2:57 PM
Wade Alin
i'm speechless. i've always got something to say, but man, nothing is coming out.

W

 
 

 
Aug.11.2006 @ 3:05 PM
Chris Randall
The jive translation actually reads easier than his normal writing, interestingly enough.

-CR

 
 

 
Aug.11.2006 @ 3:09 PM
puffer
The guy is obviously unbalanced, most likely autistic, and likely has easy access to drugs. I've seen it happen, and watching a manic person spiral towards self-immolation isn't really all that funny. Well, maybe a little if he's a complete choad with access to an internet connection he barely understands and an ocean away. But when his studio is seized, I want those patchbays. Apparently they are what's keeping me from going pro.
 
 

 
Aug.11.2006 @ 3:19 PM
Aahzekiel
Why does this guy give a fuck what we think? I do believe I'm flattered.
 
 

 
Aug.11.2006 @ 3:21 PM
Bounte
whaddaya know - the phone number Diamond Dave 103 specifies is actually Belize Prime Minister and Minister Finance, the Right Honourable Said Musa. Not the governer, but hey, I suppose you could jibber-jabber about the internets with his office too.

link [www.belize.gov]">link [www.belize.gov.b...]

 
 

 
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