August 11, 2006

Diamond Dave is, in actual fact, The Real Thing...

by Chris Randall

So there was a thread on Gearslutz that kind of went concurrently with the Diamond Dave shit we were rockin' here earlier. It was in good fun. In actual fact, it was a bit kinder than our conversation here, because to the best of my recollection, they didn't call Diamond Dave a fucktard, like, 25 times.

The creator (and main motivator) of the Gearslutz thread was our good friend Adam Jay, who has graced these very pages several times with his excellent kit. Long story short, Diamond Dave got wind of the thread, and wrote Jules (the operator of Gearslutz) with all kinds of drama. Jules, not being very fond of drama, just removed the thread, which is expedient, but not much fun. However, I'm my own ISP, and could give two shits, and love drama to boot.

Diamond Dave made what some would construe as a mistake by calling Mr. Jay. When greeted by voice mail, he left a 10 minute message, wherein he told Mr. Jay that while he could wear a shirt that says "I'm A Pirate," that didn't mean he was one. Also, his father is an Airborn Ranger (retired), his mother is FBI (retired), his brother isn't happy, he might sue Gearslutz, and he is the Real Thing, among many other excellent tidbits.

The only possible thing that could make this better would be if Adam found a way to make a recording of his voice mail so he could share this with us, right? Oh, wait. he did. Enjoy.



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Aug.11.2006 @ 3:53 AM
Ramble, ramble, "I do recordings for the court system"...

Pure, unadulterated comedy gold.


Aug.11.2006 @ 5:35 AM
fbi and israel... retired
that's some strong backup hehe

Aug.11.2006 @ 6:01 AM
the guy has obviously got a packed diary if he can spend 10mins rambling inane nonsense to an answering machine...

also, while i'm on - could someone enlighten me, and also put my mind at ease - there are only a minority of people in america that actually talk that way in normal conversation, as if he was doing a one-man monologue stage-show, (albeit a very dull one) right?


Aug.11.2006 @ 6:14 AM

Aug.11.2006 @ 6:14 AM
Next step....the Diamond Dave voicemail dance mix!

Aug.11.2006 @ 7:36 AM
I like that he tries to make a long story short at the 3 minute mark, then goes on for another seven.

This guy is somethng else alright.


Aug.11.2006 @ 7:39 AM
A loop and a snippet from the voicemail=FMOF

Aug.11.2006 @ 7:59 AM
If you google "biggest engineer douchebag found" the gearslutz thread has been cached for anyone who missed it.

Aug.11.2006 @ 9:16 AM
So not only is this guy a fucktard, but now he's keeping me from reading Gearslutz when i should be working? Bastard!

Aug.11.2006 @ 9:42 AM
I am so totally going to granularize this beotch.

Perhaps AI can have a "Diamond Dave Remix Contest"? (No doubt the first of many.) Screw the snippet for FMOF - there's waaaaay too much good stuff here to limit it to just four measures...not that I know how you'd determine what "four measures" is in this case...

What a fucktard.


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