July 11, 2006

Are you fucking kidding me?

by Chris Randall
 



Take everything you ever knew about fucktards in the music industry and just throw it out the window. This guy trumps all. The bit that cracks me up is the "up to $900,000" music tour. (Music tour?) When SMG was at its height, c. 96/97, our burn rate on the road was about $300K a month. And that was ten years ago. And we sure as FUCK didn't have any "five star" accomodations. Mostly we slept on the bus. This cat is fucking offensive. But on the bright side, he does have Internet Downloading Capabilities. Maybe he'll see this and challenge me to some mano a mano fisticuffs or something. (Thanks, bringmeup, for ruining my night.)


BUT WAIT: Check it. This fucknut has a real live website. Dear sweet baby jesus. I couldn't help but hit the photo gallery of Diamond Dave's big budget million dollar private-jet havin' studio. Remember that guy that had the "pro studio built around an i30"? That guy had pretty nice kit compared to Dave. Now, I'm not gonna begrudge someone their project studio, and in this business, perception is 9/10 of the package, but still and all, you gotta draw the line between fudging a bit and out-and-out bullshit.

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Yeah? How 'bout I give ol' Butch a call and see how he liked his Diamond Dave experience?

 
 
 

59 comments:

Page 6 of 6
 
 

 
Jul.14.2006 @ 12:54 PM
Dave McAnally
I GOT IN TOUCH WITH DIAMOND DAVE!!!!!!

The following is the ICQ transcript:

[10:39] davemcanally: Is your studio still in operation?
[10:40] davemcanally: are you still there?
[10:42] diamonddave: yes
[10:43] diamonddave: i am
[10:44] diamonddave: i'll never close down folks forget i a little guy in a very big companys i slow but go to go
[10:46] davemcanally: Well my band is struggling right now and we're looking to record our first album and do a music tour in and around Belize. My trust from my grandfather has matured so I wanted to talk to you about your music tour services and the hotel services you have available.
[10:46] davemcanally: My internet downloading capabilities aren't very good here so I wasn't able to watch your message on the website
[10:48] diamonddave: ok simple i hookup everything and music tours i have in cal new york just lookup my spaces diamonddave103
[10:48] diamonddave: all the info is the or i can link it toyou
[10:49] diamonddave: we have smaller tour you make little money
[10:49] davemcanally: Do you ahve any analog recording capabilities?
[10:50] diamonddave: folks in belize dont under stand to be a star it takes alot lot of money
[10:50] diamonddave: hey i have every thing
[10:50] diamonddave: roland 2480
[10:50] davemcanally: wow
[10:50] davemcanally: that's rad
[10:50] diamonddave: tascam 1680
[10:50] diamonddave: i know plus i have tascam
[10:50] diamonddave: ssl
[10:51] davemcanally: okay good
[10:51] diamonddave: plus alot of other gear let me send ya a link
[10:51] davemcanally: do you have access to the charts?
[10:51] diamonddave: pro tools
[10:51] davemcanally: I don't like pro tools
[10:51] davemcanally: do you have Cubase?
[10:51] diamonddave: i think it suck buggy but i have it
[10:51] davemcanally: okay
[10:52] davemcanally: Yeah we use cubase for demo purposes
[10:52] davemcanally: basically, we are a light rock band, like the Goo Goo Dolls, but we want to make an album that has a lot of shine...with a real green feel
[10:53] diamonddave: link [diamondstudio.ses.ms...]">link [diamondstudio.ssn.co...]
[10:53] davemcanally: okay
[10:53] diamonddave: this is me
[10:53] diamonddave: roland is better
[10:53] diamonddave: why no pc
[10:53] davemcanally: yeah Roland is pretty awesome
[10:53] davemcanally: I have a groovebox
[10:53] davemcanally: the 505
[10:53] diamonddave: hackers you for get
[10:53] diamonddave: i have 909 mc
[10:53] davemcanally: ah
[10:53] davemcanally: well I will check out your site and hit you up with any more questions
[10:54] davemcanally: thanks
[10:54] diamonddave: its fine but a band is better
[10:54] davemcanally: yeah
[10:54] diamonddave: link [diamondstudio.ses.ms...]">link [diamondstudio.ssn.co...]

 
 

 
Jul.14.2006 @ 12:57 PM
Dave McAnally
okay Diamond Dave wouldn't shut up after I closed the window and this conversation was too good not to share:

[10:55] diamonddave: i have record famous folks not to brag i dont think im number one i just keep it simple
[10:55] diamonddave: down to earth guy
[10:55] davemcanally: okay
[10:55] diamonddave: thats why the big bands like me
[10:55] davemcanally: did Butch Vig Record with you?
[10:55] davemcanally: I see his picture on your site
[10:55] diamonddave: i know him
[10:56] diamonddave: if i need him he will fly
[10:56] diamonddave: im a old star from the 80s

[10:56] davemcanally: oh really?
[10:56] diamonddave: that how they know me
[10:56] davemcanally: yeah that'd be cool to work with him
[10:56] davemcanally: we have money so no worries
[10:57] diamonddave: i moved to belize why no taxes
[10:57] davemcanally: ah
[10:57] diamonddave: heeheheh i love it here

 
 

 
Jul.14.2006 @ 11:25 PM
Chris Randall
Oh, man, that was fucking priceless. You just can't pay money for this kind of entertainment, seriously.

Good one, Dave (McAnally)!

-CR

 
 

 
Jul.15.2006 @ 1:43 AM
ecallender
Hys-fuckin'-terical.
 
 

 
Jul.15.2006 @ 6:02 AM
AdamJay
someone on Gearslutz has contacted Butch Vig with regards to Douchebag Dave... we'll see what happens.


Dave McAnally ... you gotta keep stringing him along man!!!

 
 

 
Jul.15.2006 @ 2:11 PM
D' MacKinnon
This is priceless.
 
 

 
Jul.15.2006 @ 11:22 PM
Dave McAnally
Sadly I think I got outed...he's not responding to me.

Perhaps he took the weekend off. Pity...I wanted to ask him if he had any rooms with granite because our bassplayer is allergic to marble

 
 

 
Jul.16.2006 @ 12:40 AM
Dave McAnally
Yeah he definitely caught on...it appears the 2nd video (in all its "shower-phone" glory) has been removed by the user and his website looks like it went on a diet.

Fun while it lasted though!

 
 

 
Jul.17.2006 @ 9:40 PM
Dave McAnally
Okay I'm beating a dead horse...but I'm sitting in a hotel bored as shit and I got Diamond Dave talking again. This time, I think I convinced him to position himself as a hurdy gurdy recording expert (via mass amounts of bullshit and some shit I made up about isoceles triangular rooms being optimal for hurdy gurdies)

[15:28] Edgehead: Hey I saw you on your video that you are looking for musicians to work with on your studio projects and you are only taking professionals...are there any non-competes involved in joining your team?
[15:30] Edgehead: I have been playing bass on a few sessions with Desmond Child in Orlando, but I'm also a suzuki string graduate on the hurdy gurdy
[15:31] Edgehead: this is Diamond Recording Studios?
[15:34] Edgehead: Also, I have a folk project I'm looking for a miami based studio
[15:51] diamonddave: yes i have
[15:51] Edgehead: I am an expert in my field
[15:51] Edgehead: for bass
[15:51] Edgehead: and hurdy gurdy
[15:51] Edgehead: do you do any projects that need a hurdy gurdy?
[15:52] Edgehead: I toured with Jimmy Page and Robert Plant in 1995
[15:52] Edgehead: on the No Quarter Tour
[15:52] Edgehead: but lately its been all bass gigs
[15:52] Edgehead: I want to get back into hg recording stuff
[15:53] Edgehead: I've done some banjo studio work too
[15:54] Edgehead: what instrumentalists are you primarily looking for?
[15:57] Edgehead: are you still there?
[16:02] *** You have been disconnected. Mon Jul 17 16:02:53 2006.
[16:46] *** "diamonddave" signed on at Mon Jul 17 16:46:27 2006.
[16:46] diamonddave: yes [Offline Message (7/18/2006 [0:36])]
[16:46] diamonddave: i rec artist for buck heeheh no studio do cd for projects
[Offline Message (7/18/2006 [0:37])]
[16:47] Edgehead: for projects?
[16:47] Edgehead: do you ever do any sessions that need a hurdy gurdy player?
[16:47] Edgehead: I guess session is the word that fits
[16:47] Edgehead: do you have the capacity to record a hurdy gurdy
[16:47] Edgehead: in Miami?
[16:48] Edgehead: part of the reason I ask is because Desmond and myself are working on a charity project we'd like to get some talent onto
[16:48] *** You have been disconnected. Mon Jul 17 16:48:36 2006.
[18:21] diamonddave: link [www.masterkit.co...]">link [www.masterkit.co...] [Offline Message (7/18/2006 [0:49])]
[18:21] diamonddave: you mean this [Offline Message (7/18/2006 [0:49])]
[18:21] *** "diamonddave" signed on at Mon Jul 17 18:21:30 2006.
[18:22] Edgehead: yes
[18:22] Edgehead: I am a hurdy gurdy player
[18:22] Edgehead: I am a master in my field
[18:23] Edgehead: hurdy gurdy players are very rare in north american studios and I know a lot of producers like to have them in the mix as a textural sound, so it might be a good talking point if you can say that Diamond Recordings has professional hurdy gurdy recording capabilities
[18:24] Edgehead: I also have a sackbut which is a really rare instrument
[18:25] Edgehead: Jethro Tull used them a lot, and I played one on one of Steve Lillywhite's sessions
[18:25] Edgehead: but its really hard to find people who can mic them properly
[18:28] Edgehead: anyhow, I was going to say, if you don't have any musicians who can play timed instruments, we should talk because I know a lot of producers are looking to produce more natural tones without relying on synths (they still sound too fake)
[18:53] diamonddave: cool need help im redoing my tube in cause too many folks dont under stand. you have tube tv loggin a see me live. ok bro.

[18:54] diamonddave: it under recordind studio part one
or diamonddave103
[18:54] Edgehead: if you want to mention your miami facilities have hurdy gurdy, sackbut and bass musicians coming soon or under development that's cool
[18:54] diamonddave: you will see me and my studio
[18:54] Edgehead: I know Steve wanted one for taht Rearview Mirror session he was doing a coupl eyears ago
[18:54] Edgehead: and Metallica used a gurdy on Reload and a lot of people wanted to use them
[18:54] diamonddave: im a little guyt in a very big company
[18:55] Edgehead: yeah
[18:55] diamonddave: yeah easy to get
[18:56] Edgehead: but since they are obscure and hard to maintain, there aren't many musicians who can play 'em, and most bigger studios definitely don't have them laying around
[18:56] diamonddave: i gave you the link
[18:56] Edgehead: where?
[18:56] diamonddave: or if i get folks in studio i'll buy it
[18:56] diamonddave: cal.
[18:57] diamonddave: la.
[18:57] diamonddave: sam ash tom would have to order it.
[18:57] Edgehead: sackbuts are the same way, supposedly Tony Visconti was looking for one to use on David Bowie's Heathen album
[18:58] Edgehead: but then you have to find musicians who know how to play them
[18:58] Edgehead: but farming out that session work is a pretty good niche to be in right now
[18:58] Edgehead: you pretty good with ambient mic'ing?
[18:58] Edgehead: I assume your room is pretty good?
[18:59] Edgehead: acoustically?
[18:59] diamonddave: well i know the folks im a star from the 80's and most of the players are about 40 to 50 years old.
[18:59] Edgehead: yeah I"m 52
[18:59] diamonddave: hold on let me look up my old buddy and ask.
[19:00] diamonddave: i think he knows more
[19:00] Edgehead: you mean about your room in miami?
[19:00] Edgehead: triangular rooms are optimal for hurdy gurdy acoustics
[19:01] Edgehead: so if you have baffles or something that you can create that with, you should mention it
[19:01] diamonddave: no my studio is in belize my other workers are in miami cal.

[19:01] Edgehead: oh
[19:01] diamonddave: i have two homes
[19:02] diamonddave: miami and belize right now im in belize
[19:02] Edgehead: wot are your live rooms like in Belize?
[19:02] diamonddave: baffles yes i think i do
[19:02] Edgehead: I know Steve would probably fly down there if its got only one 90 degree angle
[19:02] diamonddave: thats some of my reel to reel rec.
[19:03] Edgehead: I know him from a long ways back, I collaborated with Brian Eno around the time Steve was recording U2
[19:03] diamonddave: mmm do you play hurdy gurdy player well
[19:03] diamonddave: ooh
[19:04] Edgehead: we recorded a hurdy gurdy / Frippertronics duet album, but since we were on opposite labels we never got it released
[19:04] diamonddave: i see
[19:04] Edgehead: Robert Fripp is a HUGE hurdy gurdy fan
[19:04] Edgehead: sustain and all...
[19:04] diamonddave: well i was
[19:05] diamonddave: but rec. studio have changed in 13 year
[19:05] diamonddave: no dry
[19:05] Edgehead: yeah but the problem is that since everyone is dialing in their pads from the same synth banks now, its hard to deliver new sounds
[19:05] diamonddave: i like a flat sound with no eq
[19:05] Edgehead: yeah depending on if the room is good me too
[19:06] diamonddave: then i put on my pic to my heart
[19:06] diamonddave: i work better that way
[19:06] diamonddave: if i dont like it i cant go back
[19:06] Edgehead: right
[19:06] diamonddave: hurdy gurdy player do you need one
[19:06] Edgehead: so since you're in belize, do you have a place for musicians to stay?
[19:07] Edgehead: I would imagine the accomodations aren't easy to come by
[19:07] diamonddave: yes a 4 star hotel with a casino
[19:07] Edgehead: ah
[19:07] diamonddave: that free
[19:07] Edgehead: usually in that part of the world, my per diems are only 500 US dollars per day
[19:08] diamonddave: i pay for the room you pay for the food heheheheheh
[19:08] Edgehead: I did a tour through there with Fleetwood Mac a long time ago
[19:08] Edgehead: haha do you pay for the drinks?
[19:08] Edgehead: well if you want, I can email you some mp3's of some hurdy gurdy solo stuff
[19:09] diamonddave: i dont mind paying to get the song right if its a hit just give me a tip and lets do it again its called trust
[19:09] Edgehead: it was scrapped from a project I was supposed to do with Robert Plant after Manic Nirvana came out
[19:09] diamonddave: not many studio work that way
[19:09] diamonddave: i see
[19:09] Edgehead: how much per hour do you normally charge?
[19:10] diamonddave: sorry my type is messy
[19:10] Edgehead: its okay
[19:10] diamonddave: well the good news is i dont wear a watch
[19:10] Edgehead: I'm also a flutist so I'm an excellent typer
[19:10] Edgehead: haha
[19:10] diamonddave: i was a star from the 80's
[19:10] Edgehead: lee roth?
[19:11] diamonddave: never made it big but my friends did.
[19:11] Edgehead: ain't that the way of it
[19:11] Edgehead: who were your friends?
[19:11] Edgehead: I never wanted to make it big, just pay bills and screw chicks!
[19:11] diamonddave: i dont give my info on the net sorry there close to me
[19:11] Edgehead: ah
[19:11] Edgehead: understandable
[19:12] diamonddave: thats why there still my friends
[19:12] Edgehead: haha totally
[19:12] diamonddave: i can tell you one barry gibb.
[19:12] Edgehead: ah okay
[19:13] diamonddave: ive worked in his home studio he helped me with my setup
[19:13] diamonddave: benny is our friend that how i got to know him
[19:13] Edgehead: i see
[19:14] diamonddave: benny works on a ship.and his wife did his house
[19:14] Edgehead: so how many rooms do you usually have going at one?
[19:14] Edgehead: nice
[19:14] Edgehead: or do bands usually do lockout?
[19:14] diamonddave: i only rec one band at a time
[19:14] Edgehead: ah okay
[19:15] diamonddave: start one song then next
[19:15] Edgehead: from start to end?
[19:15] diamonddave: its better this way why
[19:15] Edgehead: so you start/record/mix one song and then start/record/mix the next?
[19:15] diamonddave: the song gets better rattings
[19:15] Edgehead: most projects I work on we record the rhythm tracks, then guitars/midrange stuff and then vocals, then mix
[19:16] Edgehead: for the whole project
[19:16] diamonddave: rec flat track/then sample edit/test/test check/
[19:16] diamonddave: then mix sample
[19:16] Edgehead: where does the song get the better ratings?
[19:16] Edgehead: like on the active radio charts?
[19:16] diamonddave: test on radio car then the baby
[19:16] Edgehead: yes
[19:16] diamonddave: then mom a dad
[19:17] diamonddave: may a sister or a church
[19:17] Edgehead: ah
[19:17] diamonddave: then i got to next song
[19:17] diamonddave: that why ive hit the charts
[19:17] Edgehead: does it take longer to do things that way?
[19:17] Edgehead: what charts?
[19:17] Edgehead: active rock?
[19:17] Edgehead: indie?
[19:17] diamonddave: hell yes
[19:17] diamonddave: love indie
[19:18] diamonddave: we have alot in belize
[19:18] Edgehead: yeah its a lot easier to generate positive traction in the indie charts
[19:18] Edgehead: since people are receptive
[19:18] diamonddave: they know sound
[19:18] Edgehead: I'm tellin ya man, you gotta throw hurdy gurdys into the backing mix!
[19:18] Edgehead: totally fills out the sound
[19:19] diamonddave: well here and idea
[19:19] Edgehead: especially for indie music
[19:19] Edgehead: since it doesn't sound synthy
[19:19] diamonddave: rock fussion with a touch of jazz punta mayn beat like the wind
[19:19] diamonddave: eheheheh nice pic.
[19:20] Edgehead: yeah
[19:20] Edgehead: hurdy gurdys are gonna be the next mellotron ...just watch
[19:20] diamonddave: itsa never been done before
[19:20] Edgehead: yeah
[19:20] Edgehead: would be awesome
[19:20] Edgehead: it'll be that instrument all the hip people wish they ahd on their tracks
[19:20] Edgehead: guys like Moby will be using them
[19:21] Edgehead: the only trick is that they are a bitch to properly record
[19:21] diamonddave: yeah he the best on the market right now
[19:21] diamonddave: cher has
[19:21] Edgehead: Yeah moby is awesome
[19:21] diamonddave: had it on her tracks
[19:21] Edgehead: lately his songs have been really complex
[19:21] Edgehead: yep
[19:22] diamonddave: looking TO SEE A PRICE ON THE hurdy gurdy player
[19:23] Edgehead: I paid about 3500 for mine from a luthier in Birmingham
[19:23] Edgehead: there's places you can get kits for them, but they are a bitch to put together
[19:23] Edgehead: unless you've built one before
[19:23] diamonddave: I HAVE WITH MY BUDDY
[19:24] diamonddave: I HELP HIM SET IT UP MAN IT TOOK THREE DAYS
[19:24] Edgehead: haha yes
[19:24] Edgehead: Well you might want to put that out there that you have hurdy gurdy experience
[19:24] diamonddave: well im honest
[19:24] Edgehead: you'll get some attention
[19:25] diamonddave: link [www.hurdygurdy.co...]">link [www.hurdygurdy.co...]
[19:25] Edgehead: especially if you've got baffles to construct the necessary 90 degree angle to properly record one
[19:25] diamonddave: this is a good sight
[19:25] Edgehead: yeah
[19:26] diamonddave: in good shape around $4000.
[19:26] Edgehead: yep
[19:26] Edgehead: that's about right
[19:27] diamonddave: well back in the 80s its was about 7,000
[19:27] diamonddave: things have changen
[19:27] Edgehead: tell me about it
[19:29] diamonddave: Contacting Olympic Musical Instruments
Ordering FAQ

[19:29] diamonddave: to see
[19:29] Edgehead: Well I have to take off, but I can email you some demo's of me playing. I'm also a session bassist and can sight-read, have played sackbut on two major label releases (Tom Waits and Blackmore's Night) and did a flute arrangement for Phillip Glass
[19:29] Edgehead: on the Heroes symphony
[19:29] Edgehead: so my credentials are good
[19:30] Edgehead: but its hard to find people who can ambient mic properly around here
[19:30] Edgehead: I don't know if that's your thing or not, but if it is, a lot of producers are seeking out timed instrument natural sounds
[19:31] diamonddave: ok i can send you sample of artist i rec i cant send you the whole song cause of copyrights and my buddys whould kill me for doing so.
[19:31] Edgehead: that's okay
[19:31] diamonddave: sorry type 80s

[19:31] Edgehead: [email protected] is me
[19:32] diamonddave: you can look up stonetree rec. of belize i have done 10 cd with him
[19:32] Edgehead: okay
[19:33] diamonddave: plus can i touch you there keyboard parts. that made a big hit
[19:33] Edgehead: okay
[19:33] diamonddave: you might have that one
[19:33] diamonddave: 2pac back ground beats
[19:33] diamonddave: not that i like rap but its a living
[19:34] diamonddave: rock rules
[19:34] Edgehead: yeah speaking of which, Sean Combs contacted the studio I've been doing a lot of sessions for about laying down a flute track on some new artist he's developing on VH-1
[19:34] Edgehead: me neither
[19:34] Edgehead: I'm too old for that shit!
[19:35] diamonddave: folks from 60s was real now its put in the back trash can how can we brink it back mmmmmmmmmmmmm
[19:36] Edgehead: well thanks for talking with me, I will post some mp3's or send you some of what I've done. But if it passes your tests and everything you could totally become the hurdy gurdy sound specialist!
[19:36] Edgehead: trust me, whoever nails that niche will never be out of work
[19:36] Edgehead: guys like Steve Lillywhite, Tom Waits and Moby are out looking right now
[19:36] diamonddave: send samples not the whole song my new friend. ok
[19:36] Edgehead: okay
[19:37] Edgehead: what email?
[19:37] Edgehead: I'll just send 30 second clips
[19:37] Edgehead: my internet uploading capabilities aren't the greatest here
[19:37] diamonddave: my msn is [email protected]
[19:37] Edgehead: okay
[19:37] Edgehead: I probably won't get to it tonight, but probably tomorrow
[19:37] Edgehead: talk to ya later

 
 

 
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