July 2, 2006

Fucktard(s) of the week (Special Wanking Edition)

by Chris Randall

If someone tried to pull this shit out on a session I was working on, I'd say "okay, dude, you're not getting paid per note." The absolute worst form of musical masturbation, now with makeup and pleather.



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Jul.02.2006 @ 7:51 PM
When in sessions with "people" like this I like to stare thru' the control rooom window at them and say two words down the talk back......



Jul.02.2006 @ 9:07 PM
the casiotone

"When in sessions with "people" like this I like to stare thru' the control rooom window at them and say two words down the talk back......

me 2, but it's:


Jul.02.2006 @ 9:14 PM
the 1 in pink has to be a chic. serious.

Jul.02.2006 @ 9:50 PM
Chris Randall
"He didn't play in Poison... Hey, wait..."

I was doing a session at Chicago Trax once, and Derek Frigo (shredder for Enuff Z'Nuff) was hanging out a bit, and wanted to play a solo on the song. We're like "sure, why not."

So he played the typical early 90s metal solo, and we're all like "hey, that's great. Got any coke?" So, I'm passing through the lounge later, and I hear him on the phone "yeah, I played on this track. I saved the fucking song..."

We ended up reversing the entire solo and running it through an H3000. He's in there.



Jul.02.2006 @ 10:37 PM
That was totally devoid of soul of any sort, I also hope someone stabs that guy with the bare midriff, with his own damn soulless pointy ass guitar.

CR, I could never really figure out why Frigo hubg out at Trax so much, he was a trip.


Jul.02.2006 @ 10:56 PM
Chris, where do you find these fucktards? This is gratuitous fucktardosity! Hey, Let's get these guys together with David Lee Roth on vocals and Ethan Winer on bass. They'll can tear shit up at every state fair west of the Mississippi... doing Starship covers. Brilliant idea? Yeah, I know, I've got tons of 'em.

Jul.03.2006 @ 4:38 AM
Suit & Tie Guy
a) yeah, paul gilbert has more of a point than these clowns.

b) if you actually asked that dude if he had any coke i will make and give you a free 3-shot 16 oz mocha next time you're in Chillcothe.

c) ethan winer and dave roth have more feeling and intent than these dudes, to the exponential power of ten. please don't insult them by comparing them to him. it's like saying that i could learn something from the FUBU-wearing rock-smoking oldpeople-rippingoff gospel organist who decided he'd try to own me after my gig on friday on my own organ: he played a bunch of cool shit, but he smokes rocks and wears FUBU. what the fuck is that?

man chris, you should make rock-smoking FUBU-wearing shitbag of a baptist/AME/whoeverwillpayhim organist your fucktard of the week next week. i'll have the U-Toob vid up and he's actually playing good. you can point out that this is what smoking rocks will do to you: showing up at STG's gig at the very end and trying to hold an impromptu church service off of a shout-funk interpretation of "Chameleon" for an hour ... then waiting around while STG packs up so he thinks you're going to jack his shit while he loads it in his '95 Villager with the busted window.


Jul.03.2006 @ 8:36 AM
Hey, make them watch this video: link [www.djangobooks.co...]">link [www.djangobooks.co...]

Django had only two fingers and played some arpeggios way faster than they could ever. In 1938.


Jul.03.2006 @ 1:01 PM
I think that was Karaoke guitar. Why else would you have three lead guitars, unless you're Spinal Tap? Seriously, that could have been a boombox playing behind them.

Maybe if we got 20 of these guys together we could have some sort of super-fast guitar orchestra.


Jul.03.2006 @ 1:23 PM
Chris Randall
You could call it the Dorchestra.



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