July 2, 2006

Fucktard(s) of the week (Special Wanking Edition)

by Chris Randall

If someone tried to pull this shit out on a session I was working on, I'd say "okay, dude, you're not getting paid per note." The absolute worst form of musical masturbation, now with makeup and pleather.



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Jul.02.2006 @ 1:09 PM
the casiotone
But do these guys think that anyone actually cares how fast they play? The only kind of people that i know that actually give a fuck are other guitar players that play like this.
Reminds me of that stupid joke: how many guitar players do you need to change a light bulb?
10, 1 to do it, 9 to say they could done it better

Jul.02.2006 @ 1:39 PM

Jul.02.2006 @ 1:56 PM
I don't get it.

Why did they film that?


Jul.02.2006 @ 2:22 PM
The thing that's so painful about all of this to me is that it takes so much time and energy to get to that level of playing ability that it really absorbs a person's identity when that becomes the goal. When they reach it, they haven't really done much except play guitar and talk about playing guitar, so they have nothing to express with their music other than "I can play guitar really goddamn fast". Wow - what a deep revelation. You've really captured the essence of the human spirit there. I don't care how large your vocabulary is, I don't care how fast or how clearly you can speak - if you don't have anything to say, don't talk. Put down your guitar and go have a life experience worth talking about, *then* come back and tell me about it with your guitar.

Jul.02.2006 @ 3:28 PM
If someone can play like this and enjoys it WTF? The world is full of odd people doing strange things, some of them geniuses, other fucktards. The better they are at whatever they do, the more animosity they generate, mostly IMHO because people watching have a hidden jealous streak and their own agenda. As long as these guys aren't going around telling everyone "look at how great I am" or "my guitar playing is better than yours", I say leave out the personal attacks.

On the other hand, I personally find this type of guitar playing very irritating, sort of like speeding up practicing scales to such a degree that you're performing granular synthesis, producing ambient noise ;-) But, hey, ambient noise is ART.

On a side note, if you're in Toronto check out link [www.theambientpng.co...]">link [www.theambientpng.co...]


Jul.02.2006 @ 3:38 PM
dan s
What struck me was how unimaginative the backing was. C'mon guys if you're even gonna bother record this stuff why can't you make something more interesting than what I learned in music class when I 12?

Jul.02.2006 @ 3:59 PM
See, the part I dislike about it most is how everyone who plays this kind of masturbation rock has the exact same sounding guitar. Maybe it is because I am into synthesis that I want to hear new sounds and textures, but couldn't this guys use different kinds of effects, modulation, whatever, something to get the guitars to sound a little different? I mean, it is almost like they intentionally decided to make their guitars sound as generic as possible! It is not the notes they are playing that I dislike... or even the 80s style outfits (who knows, maybe this was filmed in the 80s)... it is that cheesy guitar SOUND!

Jul.02.2006 @ 6:05 PM
That shit was cheese!I turned it off at the tap ons.True there was alot of stuff like this in the 80's,most ppl I knew with a metal up your ass t-shirt who evolved beyond the D,E, and F power chords strived to sound like this though...and then came Nirvana!

Jul.02.2006 @ 7:13 PM
That stuff isn't music, it's finger gymnastics.

Jul.02.2006 @ 7:14 PM
I have to admit, I have some shredding in my past, and I largely gave it up for many of the reasons discussed above... mainly when I realized that songs had become excuses for a guitar solo, and I realized songs were cooler than solos (girls feel that way too... that's a plus).

I assume this video was shot at Musician's Institute in Hollywood, where they encourage dated clothing/hairstyles and rapid personality-less guitar playing.

But still... go to youtube and find some Paul Gilbert videos. He plays as fast or faster than the nitwits in this video (love the bandana thingee on the headstock), but it's nothing like this video... even at a thousand miles an hour, he's so musical, and has tons of "feel" (I hate using the the term)... and his humor and attitude shines through always, unlike these clueless cheeseballs...



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