May 26, 2006

A Regular Fucktard Fiesta!!!

by Chris Randall
 



Man, I wish I made this up, but unfortunately, this is actually true. From the letter that came with this gem of a link:



I'm a vocalist in the Houston area ready to break out into
the big time. I have a game plan I believe will take me to
the top of Billboard...and allow me to be a frequent visitor
over the next decade. I'm looking for a record company that
would like to take this ride with me. I've included the link to my music video on Google.


I don't even know where to start with this, so I just won't. If you were ever curious as to what it was like to own a record label, suffice to say that about 80% of your correspondance is twice as sad, and half as funny, as this.


Well, anyways, you just broke in to the big time, all right. You're about to join the ranks of Star Wars Kid and I Kiss You. Enjoy.

 
 
 

22 comments:

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May.27.2006 @ 1:34 AM
tshear23
That is the awesomest awesome that ever awesomed. I propose an endorsement deal for Audio Damage products. He could wear a shirt that says "Got Dubstation?" for his next masterpiece.
 
 

 
May.27.2006 @ 5:04 AM
Downpressor
I blame the internet for lowering the bar this far. At least in the bad old days, it took either effort or ALOT of money to expose ones foolishness to the masss. I need an fucktard blocker for my browser.
 
 

 
May.27.2006 @ 8:00 AM
dan s
I wonder if he wrote "got metal" on that girl's breasts. I wonder how much he had to pay to do it.
 
 

 
May.27.2006 @ 1:50 PM
americanjunky
having seen vince neil perform , (in the height of his tequila sunrise, b eer gut glory), and CR you have seen it also.
I can't say that this was much worse.
 
 

 
May.27.2006 @ 6:11 PM
D' MacKinnon
1. Two words: Voice lessons.

2. Hair metal is dead because men in spandex singing falsetto was the worst fad of all time.

 
 

 
May.27.2006 @ 11:52 PM
RexRhino
I agree with ecallender... Hair Metal is the new Electro Clash... All the "cool kids" I know were super rocking out to hair metal a couple years ago, which means that it is just about ready to filter to the main stream about now. You had better start your hair metal band as soon as possible if you want to cash in.

Of course, old industrial/ebm music seems to be what the "cool kids" are listening to nowadays, so we can look forward to faux Nitzer Ebb songs being used for car commercials in about 2008. I can't play guitar, so I am waiting for that craze to exploit.

 
 

 
May.28.2006 @ 12:04 AM
Chris Randall
Shit. I hope old EBM/Industrial comes back. I can be famous all over again without having to actually work at it.

But, yeah, AmericanJunky and I saw Vince Neil on accident, more or less, in Orlando in like '96. (Off night on tour, he was playing at a local bar.) It was a sad, sad state of affairs. But intrinsically the same thing as the video.

-CR

 
 

 
May.30.2006 @ 12:30 AM
Dave McAnally
Man, of the billion odd albums of yours I've bought over the years (some 2-3 times over), I never figured THIS would be the thing you'd bestow on me that would bring a smile to my face the most!

;-)

 
 

 
May.30.2006 @ 12:35 AM
Dave McAnally
I should note that a lot of the reason that amuses me so much is because being from Iowa (well originally), we have doods like that and they are "ready for the big time".
 
 

 
Jun.03.2006 @ 6:28 PM
high tech
obviously this is simply nothing other than the lowest-budget-ever music(ac?) video ever made.
as well as the most horribly recording
and worse song ever.

i bet the band all threw intheir savings, and hired all the people standing there.
then paid a couple of kids to film it with their sony hi-8's

the audio recording was also used from the hi-8s.
the vocal overdub was done by playing back the camera through its own sperakers while the singer 'singing' along the mix both into a 58.

 
 

 
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