May 26, 2006

A Regular Fucktard Fiesta!!!

by Chris Randall

Man, I wish I made this up, but unfortunately, this is actually true. From the letter that came with this gem of a link:

I'm a vocalist in the Houston area ready to break out into
the big time. I have a game plan I believe will take me to
the top of Billboard...and allow me to be a frequent visitor
over the next decade. I'm looking for a record company that
would like to take this ride with me. I've included the link to my music video on Google.

I don't even know where to start with this, so I just won't. If you were ever curious as to what it was like to own a record label, suffice to say that about 80% of your correspondance is twice as sad, and half as funny, as this.

Well, anyways, you just broke in to the big time, all right. You're about to join the ranks of Star Wars Kid and I Kiss You. Enjoy.



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May.26.2006 @ 3:53 PM
Is that a man or a woman? I guess if you have to ask...


May.26.2006 @ 4:12 PM
unlike starwars kid and mahir (i kiss you), this isn't even entertaining. i kept waiting for some payoff, but it remained dumb the whole time.

May.26.2006 @ 4:19 PM
The crowd seems to be digging him!

May.26.2006 @ 4:23 PM
Chris Randall
I think it is entertaining just inasmuch as it is so completely unentertaining. You really have to put yourselves in our shoes; we own a record label that releases (more or less) electronica. To wake up to that in our inbox this morning was absolutely hillarious.

I suppose it is only _really_ funny in the context of the moment.



May.26.2006 @ 4:50 PM
penzoil washington
poor guy. will nobody tell him he needs another dream?

The crowd was definitely bribed, RexRhino. Good thing the beer is only a buck.


May.26.2006 @ 4:50 PM
I feel bad for the person who spent time editing that footage.

May.26.2006 @ 6:09 PM
I never thought I'd say this, but someone needs to look into autotune.

RE: the crowd. This is obviously mostly filmed a karaoke bar (except for the part with the dime-store sparklers, which was probably filmed in his basement). Know how hard it is to hard it is to get a crowd worked up at a karaoke bar?

This is indeed brilliant in its mediocrity. I don't think I could watch it twice however.


May.26.2006 @ 6:29 PM
Don't laugh, fellas. This guy probably WILL make it to the big time. Something's gonna take the place of "Electro Clash" and it might as well be some sort of hair band retro. If you think I'm jokin' just check out link []">link []

May.26.2006 @ 7:52 PM
Hmm. So many things.
1) I guess the thing that's always held me back from singing in a band is the fact that, well, I can't sing. Evidently that guy doesn't have the same internal logic circuit I have.

2) Did anyone else get the feeling that the video was from karaoke and the audio was from that guy sitting in front of his computer singing(?) into one of those $7 microphones on the really long thin stock and the little tippy base?

3) Damn it Randall, I want those 4 minutes of my life back.


May.26.2006 @ 10:45 PM
Reminds me of a sad/funny story:

There was this mentally unstable 40-year-old mechanic in LA who had the dream of being a star! and a gang of bastards I happen to know (a bunch of fucked up musician/producers and a rich publishing/mastering/duplicating/whatnot company owner).

These guys helped the poor mechanic achieve his dream by talking him into selling his 15% paid off shop and giving it to them in exchange of an album including a couple of "hits" as well as seven so-called-music videos! I'm talking 90K! no shit...

Apparently they had told him they'll take care of everything and will give him the CD/DVDs! but he has to sell them on his own! and they made sure he gets "enough copies".

I've only seen some of the videos, imagine late 60s video effects! no editing whatsoever, he sings into an SM57 with no wires attached! there are guitar, bass, drums, conga! and two keyboards on stage and just the one guy who rapidly switches instruments and sings! you can literally hear the director and people behind the camera laughing their asses off and asking him to dance or switch instruments!

Well, I heard the mechanic of our story "broke in to the big time" by giving up his own shop and working at someone else's shop for $8/hr while he has tons of useless CD/DVDs which he sells to his co-workers and other clientele from time to time!



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