December 25, 2011
by Chris Randall
Normally, someone like me who is non-religious (I don't choose to use the term "atheist" because it implies actively disbelieving in something, which is in and of itself a belief) and who is decidedly left-of-center politically would be stumbling all over himself to provide a "Happy... something!" that is both completely ecumenical and entirely secular.
This is a difficult task, because you have to take in to account the "reason for the season," which (aside from the axial tilt of the planet) is essentially Judaeo-Christian in basis, plus the amalgamation of Christian, pagan, and modern inventions that comprise "Christmas," plus all the made-up recent shit (the Wiccan iteration of Yule, Kwanzaa, et al), plus real Atheists who get all prissy if you even imply that the modern version of Sinterklaas and the Baby Jesus have anything at all to do with the fact that it is late December. (I've actually heard someone utter the following phrase with righteous indignation: "First of all, Jesus was born in the summer.") Did I leave anyone out? Oh, Jews and Muslims, who have their own fucked up shit all wrapped up in words like "tradition" and what-not, but which conveniently fall close enough to the Christ Mass to cause all sorts of headaches. Cthulhu only knows what the hell goes on over in the exotic Orient.
So you know what? I just ain't gonna bother. It's Christmas. Have a good time! Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and the best for your endeavors in the year to come, no matter where you are or what you believe!