Chris Randall: Musician, Writer, User Interface Designer, Inventor, Photographer, Complainer. Not necessarily in that order.

Archives: August 2007

August 31, 2007

One of those days...

by Chris Randall

Man, I can't catch a break today. It started when I whacked my head against our brick fireplace trying to catch Pablo (leaving not only a bump, but a scrape) and has generally gone downhill from there. Everything piece of software and gear I own is either crashing or making some kind of hissing noise, nothing will stay in tune, and it's so hot here that I keep sweating, irritating the scrape on my forehead. I bet Moby never has days like this.

To top it all off, I'm supposed to be on vacation. When you work at home, the word takes on a new meaning, of course. I was supposed to not be working on music or Audio Damage stuff, but I can't help it. Real vacation starts on the 6th, when the missus and I are heading down to L.A. for a few days. We're going to see Underworld, among other things. So if there's anything interesting happening in San Francisco on the 6th, or L.A. on the 7th, 8th, or 10th (obviously the 9th is taken up) this is the thread to pimp it. No hippy shit, though.

August 30, 2007

How To Not Win Friends, Part 1

by Chris Randall

Something that comes down the pipe at AD HQ quite frequently are letters from woefully misguided companies (usually magazines) that want to "partner" with us. Usually that partnership involves them spending our money. But today, I got one that takes the cake. I copied and pasted this directly from the e-mail; all emphasis, spelling errors, and grammatical tragedies are the author's:

This is Erin Lee the Marketing/Advertising Director at HM Magazine. HM is the leading Christian Hard Music Magazine and we are doing our annual Gear Special Feature. THIS IS DEFINITALY YOUR DEMOGRAPHIC and I was wondering if you would be interested in advertising with us.

Oh, dear sweet baby Jeebus. Where do I start? If it's the "leading Christian Hard Music Magazine," does that mean there are more than one? I could really go to town on this, but I'll leave it to you. Needless to say, making fun of Christians isn't really very exciting; they're so miffy that it really takes the fun out of it. I'm sure this post will engender several emails, the content of which will be "I'm Christian, and I find your latest post offensive, and could you please stop?"

I'm so fucking sick of Christians. I swear to christ. They make Diamond Dave look like good company. (And to our European readers, yes, all Americans are insane. I'll back up any statement you'd like to make in that regard.)

August 30, 2007

Time Waster Maximus...

by Chris Randall

Personally, my work day consists of waking up, applying the necessary doses of nicotine and caffeine to get my motor running, then walking the 15-odd feet from my couch to my office. The point being that I'm not necessarily looking for a time-waster at the office. But if I did, say, work as an insurance adjuster or some nonsense like that, and had to sit in a cubicle farm all day, I'd be extremely pleased to come across this.

In a nutshell, it's a 909 done entirely in Flash. And, surprisingly, it's not bad. Source code is provided, and if you go to the front page, you'll see there are a bunch of other fun little musical toys, including a 303 and a couple other synths (although none are as good as this one), plus some fun visual stuff.

August 29, 2007

The Zen Of Nodes...

by Chris Randall

Yoiks. An instructional DVD (volume 2, natch...) for "teaching the art of screaming to metal singers." I guess it's for sale on the Alfred site but I couldn't be bothered to hunt the actual product page down. Suffice to say that I think an instructional DVD to get metal singers to stop singing metal would be a better thing, but that's just me.

August 29, 2007

Still hoping, dreaming, praying...

by Chris Randall

I'm still looking for someone to take this Evolver off my hands. I'd like another mono synth, please. I'll gladly add cash to the deal. Or buy your mono synth if someone wants to buy this off me. No reasonable offer refused. Unless that reasonable offer involves a ridiculous lowball or someone saying "hey, I've got a CS1X that I'll trade you!"

(And in no way do I mean to offend Mr. Smith with my comments. I just don't like it. It's a fine little synth.)

I'm also still looking for a Hohner Pianet T or N. In a perfect world, someone would write and say "hey, I'd like to trade my Hohner Pianet T for your Evolver, and I live in Portland" but I know as well as anyone that this world is far from perfect.

EDIT: This lil' bitch is SOLD. Thanks to the buyer...


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